Why are Calvinists so mean ?

civic

Well-known member
This is written by a Calvinist. So don't shoot the messenger :) I'm just passing along what I have observed myself online for decades. So as a former Calvinist myself I affirm this article as true.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

The stereotype of the mean Calvinist exists for a reason. There’s a reason, after all, that clichés become clichés. If you spend any time in evangelical social media or have a more traveled experience in evangelical churches, you’ve been on the receiving end of a mean Calvinist before. If you’re like me, you’ve wondered at some point, “Why do those who subscribe to the doctrines of grace frequently seem so graceless? Is there something in particular about Calvinism that makes people mean?”



To that latter question, many have said yes. They do believe the essential tenets of Reformed theology lend themselves to coldness and harshness. I don’t think that’s true. And of course you may say that’s because I’m a Calvinist! And I am, so you may be right. But I’ve known far too many gracious, kind, Spirit-filled Calvinists to think there’s something in the doctrines that necessitates meanness. But there may be something in the culture or the application that lends itself more readily to unkind treatment of others. Below some thoughts on why too many Calvinists seem so mean. But first, some caveats*:

1. I know Calvinism refers to a broader system of historically Reformed theology, but I am using it here in the modern shorthand way of referring to anybody who subscribes to Reformed soteriology. And as I confirmed a moment ago, I put myself in that camp. So if you’re tempted to think I’m just into this for Calvinist bashing, please understand that these calls are coming from inside the house. In fact, I have been either guilty of or tempted to each of the problems listed below myself. All of us who own the label ought to own the baggage and watch ourselves.

2. I am differentiating mean Calvinism from “cage stage” Calvinism. If you’re not familiar with that phrase, “cage stage” refers to those who are new to Calvinism and so zealous/passionate about their new knowledge they ought to be locked in a cage for a while until they settle down, lest they hurt somebody. A lot of people emerge from the cage stage. The mean Calvinists I’m referring to are the ones who’ve been Calvinist long enough to have outgrown the cage stage. (Also, I’m of the opinion that most people who are new subscribers to any theology tend to go through similar cage stages. I’ve met plenty of social justice cage-stagers and anti-social justice cage-stagers, “progressive evangelicalism” cage-stagers, and so on. You probably have too. In fact, some of the meanest people I’ve known in church life and online have been angry about my Calvinism.)

With the hem and the haw out of the way, here are some theories on where mean Calvinism comes from:

Calvinism as Gnosis​

This has been my leading theory on the reason for mean Calvinism for a while. The doctrines of grace serve for so many as a kind of “special knowledge” of the Scriptures that others don’t have—or at least, that the Calvinist didn’t have before he was a Calvinist. Now truth has been unlocked. He sees something others don’t. He’s been enlightened. He understands more deeply. And those who’ve come to Calvinism from ignorance of it or even opposition to it, begin to see how much sense it makes of so much Scripture. It’s like putting corrective lenses on for the first time.

Unfortunately, having this experience can be a huge temptation to pride, where the one now enlightened sees other Christians as un-enlightened. And that’s just a tiny half-step to seeing them as not as spiritual as we are or not as serious about their faith as we are. The “gnosis” of Calvinism leads to a behavioral heresy of arrogance and partiality. And in the end, those who’ve been “enlightened” start to see themselves as smarter than others or more diligent in the Bible than others, which means they inadvertently begin seeing the knowledge of grace as something they’ve earned or achieved, which is antithetical to grace itself.

Calvinism as Circumcision​

This is a common source of mean Calvinism among those who’ve grown up in historically Reformed traditions, but it is not uncommon among those who wear their Reformed bona fides as a central marker of their identity and community. We all use our theological and philosophical labels to help people know where we’re coming from and identify others with whom we may share affinity, but for too many Calvinists one’s viewpoint on or degree of adherence to Calvinism becomes the way they determine who’s “in” and who’s “out.”

Some have so found their identity in Calvinist community that it begins to inform their sense of evangelical or covenantal inclusion. Calvinism becomes their “righteousness.” Which means of course that those who don’t share it—or who don’t share their seriousness about it—are treated like outsiders to or corrupters of the faith. I’ve known more than a few folks raised in Reformed traditions for whom a major identity marker of their upbringing was deeming Christians from non-Reformed traditions as less faithful, less intelligent, less serious, less whatever. Like the Judaizers of Paul’s day with circumcision, they have added something to the gospel to make grace-plus the sign of true salvation. In fact, it is dangerously possible that many of the worst revilers and repeat offenders online treat Calvinism as their (self-)righteousness precisely because they are not regenerate and do not have Christ’s imputed or imparted to them. Keep a close watch on your life, as well as your doctrine (1 Tim. 4:16); make sure you don’t treat Calvinism as the marks of who’s really a Christian. The biblical tests for salvation place greater emphasis on love and Christlike character than they do secondary or tertiary doctrines.

Calvinism as Crusade​

This is a common approach of those who did not grow up in Reformed traditions but came to Reformed theology later in their discipleship. For many of them, they have a newfound resentment of their upbringing to go along with their newfound doctrine. They may feel cheated by those in their church background, that Calvinism was hidden from them or stolen from their experience. This bitterness about what was lacking in their past then fuels a sense of injustice in wanting to right those wrongs. “Everyone must know!” So one’s Christian life becomes about wearing Calvinism on the shirt sleeves, preaching the “gospel” of Calvinistic freedom to those in bondage to their ignorance.

The Calvinistic crusader tends to favor Calvinistic watchblogs and watchdogs, online “discernment ministries” of the Reformed persuasion, and other pugilistic types who picture themselves as walking in the steps of Martin Luther. They’ve come to fix the church. And that means treating those who don’t get with the Reformed program as impediments to the mission and even to the faith. The crusading Calvinist will bulldoze whoever’s necessary to “save” others from the ignorance he himself swam in for too long. He therefore becomes the Glengarry Glenn Ross of the Reformation, barking to himself and to his squad, “Always. Be. Calvinizing.” These guys are absolutely no fun at parties that involve people who aren’t like them.

Calvinism as Compartmentalization​

This is a more general theory of one thing inherent to Calvinism philosophically and historically that might lend itself to the temptation toward meanness with others. It basically goes like this: Because Reformed theology is an articulate theology long presented in a rich system of doctrine, the people who resonate with it and who are drawn to it tend to be more systematic-type thinkers, those who appreciate order, categories, and so on. This is, no doubt, a good thing. But sometimes when we love order, systems, and categories, we don’t know what to do with Christians and Christian experiences that don’t fit neatly into these compartments.

If we generally like orderliness, we may struggle with so much of the inefficiency of the Christian life in general. Discipleship is a messy process because people are sinners, and besides that, people are also messy, and the world is broken. If we love our systems more than people or we only want to deal with people who see the world same as we do or who otherwise fit into our comfortable categories, we’ve turned our Calvinism into a way to compartmentalize our experience rather than as a window through which to see the glory of Christ in his purposes with all people and things.

Calvinism, rightly adhered to, is meant to stir our affections for Christ, not our disdain for our brethren. And if we are frequently charged with treating others in uncharitable ways, the humility necessary to the doctrine ought to produce a humility in its doctrinaires to ask if our lives actually contradict the doctrine we preach with our mouths.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:18


 
I've always considered Calvinism to be a cult. And it's absolutely amazing how people can become so extremely deceived that they believe everything the leadership of a cult tells them. And anytime someone points out how they are being deceived the tendency is to become extremely upset. Then the hostility sets in.

I found this online that explains it.

Calvinism is often observed as a personality-cult. A cult of personality arises when it’s promoters use mass media, propaganda, or other methods, to create an idealized, heroic, and sometimes worshipful image, often through unquestioning flattery and praise. As with other personality cults, it starts with the idealizing of the leader, and over time, persons who function as standard bearers for the group.

Sociologist Max Weber described the idealizing of the personality, in which he is given a grandiose status of “charismatic” or “divine” authority. A cult of personality is a form of hero worship, where the idealized person and later faithful standard bearers are granted exaggerated status (e.g. Great or Divines). Idealization is perpetuated by written or spoken propaganda which is generally presented with overtones of authoritarianism, arrogant superiority, true orthodoxy, and is unquestionable.
 
A small collection of comments from the non-calvinists that demonstrates their brotherly love.

Yep they are elected outside of Christ since they are the worthy sinners

Come to think of it, Calvinism has incorporated several foundational elements of Hinduism. Calvinists believe that God maintains a caste system, elect verses non-elect in their case. Also, enlightenment is a strong element of their beliefs.

ie regeneration which is mystical like in Hinduism

A biased Calvinist no thanks

Obviously by their own beliefs Jesus is hiding it from them :).

The greatest humility I’ve seen within Christianity comes from those who hold to free will . Calvinism feeds the natural man’s ego.

Filled with pride at birth :)

Yes it’s the antithesis of Calvinism lol

Maybe someone can write a eulogy for Calvinism? Except that I can't think of even one good thing to say for calvinism. 😆

Nope and faith without works is dead. So you just admitted your faith is a dead faith. Next

Were you a sinner ? Yes or no

So then how do you hear Christ's words if not through the word of God? Through voices in your head? :unsure:

He does not believe in the necessity of the Gospel to hearing.

They really really want to replace Christ. Christ was/is favored. So much for their false claims to uniquely find "grace" among men.

I can see you are not a student of church history. Do you know who st augustine was ?

He doesn't know how to make an meaningful argument at most any level.

And? You want to tell us something about the voices in your head?

It still looks like you don’t understand election or free will

The vessels of wrath fitted for destruction are the chosen/ elect Jews/ Israel . Next fallacy

Exactly down goes the calvinist election/chosen/predestination/ doctrines down the drain- call roto rooter :)

The only conclusion they are willing to consider are the one's that make them look good......

Ya think lol

I wonder what they will do when it happens to them?

Claiming grace for yourself while denying it to others shows exactly were your heart is.

Do you have a problem with English?

Not that you'll ever understand this. You prefer things that feed your ego.

You are incapable of having this discussion. I didn't quote you to have a conversation with you. I responded to show how ignorant you are.

Here you are insisting that God leads all men. You didn't give much thought to this at all.

He is incapable of having the discussion. He isn't a student of the Scriptures.

The fact you make statements that can equally be applied to both of us........... shows just how lost you are in any sense of debate ethics.

You use it to exclude "things" all the time. You have to love how a Calvinist ignores their own doctrines.

Why such instability from you?

I have vastly more knowledge about the Scriptures than any of you.

I take it that your total inability to offer any arguments against the verses I quoted means that you're in full agreement with what I wrote.

Yep 👍 some cannot follow simple logic and reasoning

It might be difficult for a Calvinist to tell someone who is lost that Jesus loves them and died for their sins.
 
A small collection of comments from the non-calvinists that demonstrates their brotherly love.

Yep they are elected outside of Christ since they are the worthy sinners

Come to think of it, Calvinism has incorporated several foundational elements of Hinduism. Calvinists believe that God maintains a caste system, elect verses non-elect in their case. Also, enlightenment is a strong element of their beliefs.

ie regeneration which is mystical like in Hinduism

A biased Calvinist no thanks

Obviously by their own beliefs Jesus is hiding it from them :).

The greatest humility I’ve seen within Christianity comes from those who hold to free will . Calvinism feeds the natural man’s ego.

Filled with pride at birth :)

Yes it’s the antithesis of Calvinism lol

Maybe someone can write a eulogy for Calvinism? Except that I can't think of even one good thing to say for calvinism. 😆

Nope and faith without works is dead. So you just admitted your faith is a dead faith. Next

Were you a sinner ? Yes or no

So then how do you hear Christ's words if not through the word of God? Through voices in your head? :unsure:

He does not believe in the necessity of the Gospel to hearing.

They really really want to replace Christ. Christ was/is favored. So much for their false claims to uniquely find "grace" among men.

I can see you are not a student of church history. Do you know who st augustine was ?

He doesn't know how to make an meaningful argument at most any level.

And? You want to tell us something about the voices in your head?

It still looks like you don’t understand election or free will

The vessels of wrath fitted for destruction are the chosen/ elect Jews/ Israel . Next fallacy

Exactly down goes the calvinist election/chosen/predestination/ doctrines down the drain- call roto rooter :)

The only conclusion they are willing to consider are the one's that make them look good......

Ya think lol

I wonder what they will do when it happens to them?

Claiming grace for yourself while denying it to others shows exactly were your heart is.

Do you have a problem with English?

Not that you'll ever understand this. You prefer things that feed your ego.

You are incapable of having this discussion. I didn't quote you to have a conversation with you. I responded to show how ignorant you are.

Here you are insisting that God leads all men. You didn't give much thought to this at all.

He is incapable of having the discussion. He isn't a student of the Scriptures.

The fact you make statements that can equally be applied to both of us........... shows just how lost you are in any sense of debate ethics.

You use it to exclude "things" all the time. You have to love how a Calvinist ignores their own doctrines.

Why such instability from you?

I have vastly more knowledge about the Scriptures than any of you.

I take it that your total inability to offer any arguments against the verses I quoted means that you're in full agreement with what I wrote.

Yep 👍 some cannot follow simple logic and reasoning

It might be difficult for a Calvinist to tell someone who is lost that Jesus loves them and died for their sins.
Excellent post :)
 
A small collection of comments from the non-calvinists that demonstrates their brotherly love.

Yep they are elected outside of Christ since they are the worthy sinners

Come to think of it, Calvinism has incorporated several foundational elements of Hinduism. Calvinists believe that God maintains a caste system, elect verses non-elect in their case. Also, enlightenment is a strong element of their beliefs.

ie regeneration which is mystical like in Hinduism

A biased Calvinist no thanks

Obviously by their own beliefs Jesus is hiding it from them :).

The greatest humility I’ve seen within Christianity comes from those who hold to free will . Calvinism feeds the natural man’s ego.

Filled with pride at birth :)

Yes it’s the antithesis of Calvinism lol

Maybe someone can write a eulogy for Calvinism? Except that I can't think of even one good thing to say for calvinism. 😆

Nope and faith without works is dead. So you just admitted your faith is a dead faith. Next

Were you a sinner ? Yes or no

So then how do you hear Christ's words if not through the word of God? Through voices in your head? :unsure:

He does not believe in the necessity of the Gospel to hearing.

They really really want to replace Christ. Christ was/is favored. So much for their false claims to uniquely find "grace" among men.

I can see you are not a student of church history. Do you know who st augustine was ?

He doesn't know how to make an meaningful argument at most any level.

And? You want to tell us something about the voices in your head?

It still looks like you don’t understand election or free will

The vessels of wrath fitted for destruction are the chosen/ elect Jews/ Israel . Next fallacy

Exactly down goes the calvinist election/chosen/predestination/ doctrines down the drain- call roto rooter :)

The only conclusion they are willing to consider are the one's that make them look good......

Ya think lol

I wonder what they will do when it happens to them?

Claiming grace for yourself while denying it to others shows exactly were your heart is.

Do you have a problem with English?

Not that you'll ever understand this. You prefer things that feed your ego.

You are incapable of having this discussion. I didn't quote you to have a conversation with you. I responded to show how ignorant you are.

Here you are insisting that God leads all men. You didn't give much thought to this at all.

He is incapable of having the discussion. He isn't a student of the Scriptures.

The fact you make statements that can equally be applied to both of us........... shows just how lost you are in any sense of debate ethics.

You use it to exclude "things" all the time. You have to love how a Calvinist ignores their own doctrines.

Why such instability from you?

I have vastly more knowledge about the Scriptures than any of you.

I take it that your total inability to offer any arguments against the verses I quoted means that you're in full agreement with what I wrote.

Yep 👍 some cannot follow simple logic and reasoning

It might be difficult for a Calvinist to tell someone who is lost that Jesus loves them and died for their sins.
Well you know what they say, the truth hurts. But the truth will set you free. The thing about Calvinism is that it breeds pride. The pride in being one of the elect.

Jesus said, “From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts . . . pride, foolishness” Mark 7:21–22

Pride. That’s the deepest disease of the human heart. And even in the saved, blood-bought, Spirit-indwelt, mature — yes, mature — Christian, the disease of pride can raise its head from the grave of mortification and make us ashamed.
 
Well you know what they say, the truth hurts. But the truth will set you free. The thing about Calvinism is that it breeds pride. The pride in being one of the elect.

Jesus said, “From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts . . . pride, foolishness” Mark 7:21–22

Pride. That’s the deepest disease of the human heart. And even in the saved, blood-bought, Spirit-indwelt, mature — yes, mature — Christian, the disease of pride can raise its head from the grave of mortification and make us ashamed.
yes the elite special group of reprobate sinners who won the lottery ticket who were children of wrath just like the rest ( eph 2)
 
Well you know what they say, the truth hurts. But the truth will set you free. The thing about Calvinism is that it breeds pride. The pride in being one of the elect.

Jesus said, “From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts . . . pride, foolishness” Mark 7:21–22

Pride. That’s the deepest disease of the human heart. And even in the saved, blood-bought, Spirit-indwelt, mature — yes, mature — Christian, the disease of pride can raise its head from the grave of mortification and make us ashamed.
Yeah, there's no pride in all those comments.
 
It might be difficult for a Calvinist to tell someone who is lost that Jesus loves them and died for their sins.
Good to see you posting some very good statements RT! It's a start.

Yeah Calvinism doesn't have any message whatsoever that God loves a person while engaging a conversation with someone who doesn't know the Lord. Not only is it difficult for them to do that....it's impossible. If they did do that another Calvinists hearing them say that would correct them and inform them they're being very presumptuous and get things right. They may not be one of the lucky ones or the especially blessed like us. I mean that may sound like a put down but taking the wraps off of what you believe that's EXACTLY what you believe. Now feel free to tell me different.
 
I'm not very concerned about the temperament of Calvinists, It's the way they twist the scriptures around that I find offensive. For example
this most devastating argument I find against what R.C. Sproul teachers that the term draw always means “compels” in John 12:32.

There Jesus says that if he is lifted up from the earth, he will “draw all people” to himself. The Greek verb translated “draw” there is the same as in John 6:44 and 65.

If Sproul is right and the verb draw must always mean “compel,” then this verse teaches universalism.

In fact, however, the word can mean simply draw or attract rather than compel or drag.

The Arminian interpretation of these verses in John 6:14 and John12:11 is reasonable: that nobody can come to Jesus Christ unless he or she is drawn by God’s prevenient grace that calls and enables but does not compel.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ when it's delivered to an unbeliever is what attracts them to have faith in Jesus. But it's up to them if they choose to accept Him or not.

The bottom line is the Calvinist arguments for monergism demonstrates that monergism actually injures God’s reputation by necessarily undermining God’s goodness and love.

Not understanding God's goodness and love could definitely give you a negative attitude.
 
My new ignore list (more will be added as needed):

Rockson
Civic
Synergy
Praise_Yeshua
Fool4Christ
TomL
Diserner

If anyone sees that these people have learned to be civil and respectful of people with whom they disagree in their discussions, let me know, and I'll take that person off ignore.
 
Those comments aren't truth. They're snarky, condescending insults. I don't think that's a non-calvinist thing, though. It's just nasty posters whom I will ignore from now on.
Not even close. I've been on a few different forms where they really get down and get funky. None of those comments come even close to fitting your description of them
 
I'm not very concerned about the temperament of Calvinists, It's the way they twist the scriptures around that I find offensive. For example
this most devastating argument I find against what R.C. Sproul teachers that the term draw always means “compels” in John 12:32.

There Jesus says that if he is lifted up from the earth, he will “draw all people” to himself. The Greek verb translated “draw” there is the same as in John 6:44 and 65.

If Sproul is right and the verb draw must always mean “compel,” then this verse teaches universalism.

In fact, however, the word can mean simply draw or attract rather than compel or drag.

The Arminian interpretation of these verses in John 6:14 and John12:11 is reasonable: that nobody can come to Jesus Christ unless he or she is drawn by God’s prevenient grace that calls and enables but does not compel.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ when it's delivered to an unbeliever is what attracts them to have faith in Jesus. But it's up to them if they choose to accept Him or not.

The bottom line is the Calvinist arguments for monergism demonstrates that monergism actually injures God’s reputation by necessarily undermining God’s goodness and love.

Not understanding God's goodness and love could definitely give you a negative attitude.
Well said
 
My new ignore list (more will be added as needed):

Rockson
Civic
Synergy
Praise_Yeshua
Fool4Christ
TomL
Diserner

If anyone sees that these people have learned to be civil and respectful of people with whom they disagree in their discussions, let me know, and I'll take that person off ignore.
What happened to what Jesus commanded about loving your brother? Have you ever heard of log in the eye disease. It's in the bible.

LOG-EYE DISEASE Log-eye disease is easy to explain but hard to overcome. It’s our natural tendency to see the speck in someone else’s eye while being oblivious to the log in our own. It’s why we see and remember the worst in others while seeing and remembering only the best in ourselves. For that, we can thank Adam. Ever since his infamous fall, log-eye disease has been epidemic. So much so that Jesus famously warned us about its dangers when it comes to making judgments about others.
 
My new ignore list (more will be added as needed):

Rockson
Civic
Synergy
Praise_Yeshua
Fool4Christ
TomL
Diserner

If anyone sees that these people have learned to be civil and respectful of people with whom they disagree in their discussions, let me know, and I'll take that person off ignore.
and its ok when you use free willers as a derogatory remark right ?

an insult right ?

you surely do not mean it as a compliment do you ?
 
My new ignore list (more will be added as needed):

Rockson
Civic
Synergy
Praise_Yeshua
Fool4Christ
TomL
Diserner

If anyone sees that these people have learned to be civil and respectful of people with whom they disagree in their discussions, let me know, and I'll take that person off ignore.
Will someone send RT a message and kindly ask what if those who won't do this are sadly just as misinformed as him? Why be trusting on anyone else's judgment. He might be missing out on something GOOD! :)
 
Will someone send RT a message and kindly ask what if those who won't do this are sadly just as misinformed as him? Why be trusting on anyone else's judgment. He might be missing out on something GOOD! :)
I ignore people and still read their posts. Placing someone on ignore is rare for me. I have not done that on this forum and only did it a couple times over the years on the other forum we left. But we are angels in comparison here. 🤣
 
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