Are you still here Always?
I haven't gone through the thread and don't know what others are telling you.
Here's my 2 cents:
You're worrying needlessly.
You're doing all it takes to be with God eternally.
You know He exists.
You know you shouldn't sin and are probably trying not to but we all do.
And it sounds like you're sorry if you do.
That's about it.
Sound too easy?
That's all there is to it.
Anything else is for theology geeks that like to discuss.
Now,,,in the early church there was the problem of sin.
And I mean AFTER the last book of the New Testament.
In the HISTORY of the church.
I'll be happy to get into this if you wish...but it's purely for
discussion. You don't need anything else to be right with God.
Thanks for your post, beautiful in its simplicity.
I often refer my Forum members to the "soteriology of kids", so to speak.
For the example I will let aside kids under very challenging circumstances (eg those exposed to violence in their family and community).
I'll talk about the majority of kids that, despite difficulties, feel loved by their parents.
They don't worry about their personal salvation. God is good. God wants them to do good things. When they do bad things, they feel bad, and then come to the person they did bad to say I'm sorry and try to repair/restore things as best as possible. Since God is good, God forgives.
Their eschatology is that good things will end up happening to good people, and bad things to bad people. Who are the good people? The ones behaving well. The bad people is the one doing evil things.
It doesn't matter if we are talking about kids being raised in Catholic homes, Protestant homes, Muslim, Jew or Baha'i.
Some kids, like you, Godgrace, grow up
keeping these basic notions, while deepening in their knowledge on why these things are like they are, and how these notions can be applied to more complex situations faced in adult life. Theology becomes
a natural extension (more than a radical departure) of their original, elementary soteriology.
Sadly, some other kids, at some moment of their development into adults, learn that they should worry about the wrath of God, and about joining or staying the right church or adhering to the right creed so that they are saved from such wrath. They learn that it is OK for God to chastise all others with eternal torture. They also start making weird questions like
"If am once saved, am I always saved?", and giving up to their reasoning in favor of a literal reading of the Scripture, in order to be always "on the safe side".
There is a kind of tragedy in the life of such kids: that having lived in peace, they became fearful.
Certainly, we all share some kind of tragedy in our development as adults. That's why Jesus asked us to become as children again.