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The Purpose of Marriage
Man is created in the image of God, the imago Dei as the early church fathers would have called it. Yet this imago Dei is incomplete in Adam alone. God is both diverse and unified—think of the Trinity. (I would be remiss if I did not link you to a discussion about Christ here. I deal with this connection in “The Godhead” in chapter 7.) But there is no diversity within Adam just yet. This leads God to say something shocking. After a litany of “it was good” in chapter 1 (vv. 5, 10, 12, 18, 21, and 25), God comes to man’s status in Genesis 2:18 and says, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (emphasis mine).
Everything up to this point in the narrative has been categorized as “good.” And here is the first “not good” that we come to. Thus, the idea of “alone” must be more significant than we often make it, for Adam was not alone. Adam had all of the animals, and presumably, since Eve is not surprised by the serpent’s ability to speak to her later in the narrative, some of these animals could speak and reason! Yet Adam is still categorized as being “alone.” God’s prescription for that is that he needed a “helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18); therefore, the creation of Eve and the immediate purpose of marriage was to combat this “aloneness.” To provide companionship.
Adam was created in the image of God; yet he was without diversity and companionship. Since there was no other creature that bore the image of God, there was no other creature that could complete Adam. Because of this aloneness, Adam could not fully reflect the image of God, and it is not until after the creation of Eve, that creation itself is labeled “very good” (Genesis 1:31). It is not until after the creation of Eve that the diversity and companionship found in the Trinity can be fully reflected in the imago Dei of humankind. This is also why any worship or overemphasis of either sex is wrong, because the sexes are only truly complete when they operate as a single unit together in marriage
Thus, the immediate purpose of marriage is to reflect the image of God through companionship. This reflection of the image of God will culminate, however, with the picture of Christ and the Church. This metaphor is now partially realized, but will be fully realized at the end of time. But more on that in chapter 7.
The Tasks of Marriage
So we come to the next piece of the puzzle. Adam was not just alone. He also needed help. The text says, “I will make a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18, emphasis mine). So what was it he needed help with? He only had two jobs that we know about. He was to have “dominion” over creation (1:26)—naming the animals would fall under this—and he was to work and keep the Garden of Eden (2:15). And even in his perfected state, he still needed help with these things! After God creates Eve, the directive shifts. Adam and Eve are to “be fruitful,” “multiply,” “fill the earth,” and “subdue it” (1:28). These directives imply the dominion that existed in the previous directives, but this time with the ability to succeed.
What do I mean by this?
At the advent of woman, the previous tasks are presented in a greater fullness. There is something softer and yet more driven in the commands after Eve.
“Working and keeping the garden” turns into “be fruitful” and “fill the earth.” Likewise, “dominion” turns into the gentler “subdue” alongside the “dominion.” These new tasks invite Adam and Eve to reflect God’s creative nature, as well as his ruling nature. Adam and Eve are told to create and to rule, and they need each other to do this well. Let me elaborate.
Prior to Eve, Adam was just to “work and keep” the Garden. You can “work and keep” something without any result. The addition of “be fruitful” and “fill the earth” is a fuller, more successful version of “working and keeping.” You are working and keeping with a purpose. The purpose of “being fruitful” and “filling the earth.”
Prior to Eve, Adam was to exercise “dominion” over creation. The exercising of dominion can often lead to a heavy-handed dictatorship. “Subduing” is a gentler, more successful form of “dominion.”
Indeed, these are the very things that are corrupted in the curse after the fall. Working and keeping becomes a struggle, and Eve will always be after Adam’s leadership (“dominion”) position (but more about that in chapter 6).
Ultimately, marriage is about companionship with a purpose. It is companionship that reflects the image of God (the imago Dei) through creating and ruling. This can only be fully realized (complete) in the two sexes that were formed uniquely apart from the rest of creation and complement each other in order to create a holistic unit.
The Unity of Marriage
The purpose and tasks of marriage, however, can only be accomplished through the unity of marriage. The last two verses of chapter 2 end with nakedness and the admonition to leave and cleave. Both are indicative of unity. Because of what the creation of woman represented—an equal partner who complements Adam by being both of the same stuff and uniquely separate—the writer of Genesis says that “therefore” (ESV) or “for this reason” (NASB) a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.
For what reason?
To form a single unit that accomplishes companionship and completion.
Yet the tendency is to look outside of this relationship for companionship and completion.
One of the stronger bonds that we form is with our parents, because they spend so long with us and they have shaped so much of our lives. And so the tendency is to let them have undue influence in our marriages. The spousal relationship allows for a fresh start, a blank slate. This was so important to a successful marriage that God was careful to tell the man to “leave his father and mother” (Genesis 2:24) before there were even fathers and mothers on the scene.
We must leave our parents in every way. We must not allow them to have undue influence over us physically, socially, emotionally, financially, or psychologically; however, this does not mean that we are to be cold and distant. No, we still have the scriptural imperative to honor our father and mother.
But we need to care for our spouse more.
There are a lot of negative influence that our parents can bring into our marriages—without any sort of malicious intent—so we must learn to let our parents go. And it is the man’s responsibility to lead in that arena, as we shall see in chapter 6.
Conclusion
In chapter 3 of Genesis, the serpent convinces Eve to disobey God and eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Adam then eats the fruit from the tree as well. They both sinned. They both disobeyed. It is here that we see a very significant shift in their relationship with God. When they hear the Lord, they hide. Adam tells Him, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself” (v. 10).
As one unit who sinned together, they were not ashamed of their nakedness with one another. Yet their nakedness before God had been marred. Nakedness is a symbol. Tim Keller, in his sermon series on marriage, indicates that before we can ever be naked with each other physically, we must be able to be naked with each other socially and emotionally, and this can only happen within a covenant relationship, where we know that the other is completely committed, warts and all.[18]
But before we are ever going to be comfortable being exposed to one another, we must be comfortable being naked before God. Think about it. As soon as God begins to “undress” Adam and Eve concerning their sin, they begin to sacrifice each other instead of sacrificing for each other.
The knowledge that each has of the other becomes a weapon.
And their sin is not without consequence. It introduces disunity. Ultimately, it is our disunity with God that creates disunity and discord with one another. Cain, one of Adam and Eve’s children, experiences disunity with God, and that leads him to kill his brother Abel. The disunity that is a result of the curse that Adam and Eve experience due to their sin is passed along to all of humanity through their children.
Steven J. Halbert, The Relational God: What the Scriptural Commands for Children, Marriages, Siblings, and Parents Teach Us about God
bibleask.org
