Is Shame "un-Christian"?

[Fool4Christ]

I live in disgrace all day long, and my face is covered with shame.
Psalm 44:15

Have you ever felt like the writer Psalm 44:15—as though you go through life wearing a cloak of shame? I felt this way for years due to having Dyslexia, and I know it’s a terrible way to feel. I also know there is hope!

People have several hidden assumptions about “shame” that are based on partial truths. For instance, many in the church have the impression that shame is a “subjective” problem. It is concerned with psychology and culture, not theology, which is primarily about “objective” truth. As a result, honor-shame language seems ill-suited to describe ultimate realities, like God and salvation from sin.

Many people are “rooted” in shame. This means their shame is so deep that it functions as the root of a tree and actually produces “fruit” in the form of unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that negatively affect their lives and relationships. Shame is different from guilt, and it affects people more deeply than guilt. Normal guilt causes us to feel embarrassed, regretful, or bad about something we have done, while shame makes us feel bad about who we are.

When you and I make mistakes or commit sin, we feel bad until we repent and are forgiven. Then we’re able to put it behind us and go on without any lasting harm. But when people are rooted in shame, it affects everything about their lives. They have such deep negative attitudes and feelings toward themselves that their negativity poisons everything they try to accomplish. They struggle more than people who don’t deal with shame and seem doomed to failure because they have no confidence.

According to Hebrews 12:2, Jesus bore our shame for us on the cross. This includes both the shame anyone would feel in certain situations and the deeply rooted shame that affects some people. You don’t have to live ashamed of who you are. Jesus has set you free.

 

[JoshebB]

Depends on the type of shame.

• Guilt is the feeling and condition that comes from doing something wrong. "I did that wrong; I am/feel, therefore, guilty.
• Shame is the message "I am being something wrong. "I did that wrong; I, therefore, am/feel ashamed," .....and that comes out as a facepalm followed by the proverbial, "What is wrong with me?"
• We feel regret or remorse. "I wish that hadn't happened," or "I wish I hadn't done that," or....... "I wish I did not feel this way."

I call this the three-headed beast from hell because it causes a lot of people a lot of trouble.

Scripturally speaking, there is a correct way to view those three aspects of wrongdoing, and an incorrect way. When we do something wrong we're supposed to feel guilt. Guilt is a God-made condition sown into the constitution of every human. Feeling guilt is a sign our conscience is working correctly. I'd be much, much more concerned about the person who says "Yeah, I did that. So what?" and does not feel any adverse internal consequences for their behavior. The solution in scripture is to acknowledge the wrongdoing, endeavor not to repeat the wrongdoing, and make amends wherever possible and appropriate. The non-solution antithetical to scripture is to either deny the wrongdoing, treat it as a relativistic psychological construct and dismiss it, or bury it within until it manifests itself in some other way (like anger or depression). The simple fact is humans do things wrong and there is a healthy way to respond to wrongdoing.

Shame is a bit different. Every single person who has ever lived (except Jesus) has sinned and, thereby, fallen short of God's glory. We all, therefore, also live in a state of shame. We are not as we were originally made. That's a simple fact of scripture. We see shame described when Adam and Eve tried to hide from God. They were suddenly naked and..... ashamed, whereas they'd previously been naked and unashamed. What had changed? They'd gone from being good, unashamed, and sinless to not-good, ashamed, and sinful.

There was something wrong with them.

BUT.... that does not mean we should spiral into a facepalm and mire in our adulteration, pitying ourselves as wretched creatures and indulging the shame.

Scripturally speaking, God has made a means of addressing that shame. Christ crucified and resurrected. However, both the flesh and the devil perversely want us to mire in our shame, indulging the adulteration as we resort to self-idolization in an effort to insulate ourselves from reality: we are not as we were once made, and we are in need of a remedy.

Regret or remorse, like guilt, is a God-made condition that is normal to experience anytime we err. Feeling regret is healthy. The problem is somatically the sensations of guilt, shame, regret, and remorse do not "feel" good" so we want to ignore, neglect, dismiss, redirect, etc. those sensations and nothing gets fixed. John described this in his gospel.


John 3:18-21 NIV
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.


It goes all the way back to Eden. We will not come into the light for fear our deeds will be seen for what they are. Those who walk in the light, however, can see God at work in their life. So put the bit in your mouth and face your guilt, shame, and regret as God directs.

• Confession (acknowledge the wrongdoing and its effects)
• Repentance (purpose to change both the behavior and the thinking that led to it)
• Restitution (wherever possible and appropriate try to replace what was lost or repair what was damaged at your own expense)
• Penalty (wherever a relationship is damaged a penalty is paid)
• Forgiveness (give and receive with God, the offended person, and yourself)
• Reconciliation (where possible and appropriate, endeavor to either restore the relationship to its previously good state or improve upon it because a person and a relationship that has weathered wrongdoing, survived intact, and improved because the wrongdoing was handled correctly is a stronger relationship with stronger members).

That is God's prescription for the affliction of guilt, shame, and remorse. Those practices keep us healthy.


Jesus did bear our shame. When we stand before God, we stand justified and sanctified, covered in the shed blood of God's own resurrected and ascendant Son. Until then we do wrong and are expected to address the matter as directed.

2 Peter 1:3-11
...seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

Do not be blind or short-sighted. We have everything we need to live a godly life and can participate in the divine nature.

Believe it.

Act like it.