Unmerited
Active Member
The Hard part of forgiveness confronts anyone who wants to agree to a moral cease-fire just because someone says, “I’m sorry.” When I feel wronged, I can contrive a hundred reasons against forgiveness.
He needs to learn a lesson. I don’t want to encourage irresponsible behavior. I’ll let her stew for a while; it will do her good. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. I was the wronged party—it’s not up to me to make the first move. How can I forgive if he’s not even sorry?
I marshal my arguments until something happens to wear down my resistance. When I finally soften to the point of granting forgiveness, it seems a capitulation, a leap from hard logic to mushy sentiment.
Why do I ever make such a leap? I have learned one factor that motivates me as a Christian: I am commanded to, as the child of a Father who forgives. But Christians have no monopoly on forgiveness. Why do any of us, Christian or unbeliever alike, choose this unnatural act? I can identify at least three pragmatic reasons, and the more I ponder these reasons for forgiveness, the more I recognize in them a logic that seems not only “hard” but foundational.
First, forgiveness alone can halt the cycle of blame and pain, breaking the chain of ungrace. In the New Testament the most common Greek word for forgiveness means, literally, to release, to hurl away, to free yourself.
Reginald Denny, the truck driver assaulted during the riots in South Central Los Angeles, demonstrated this power of grace. The entire nation watched the helicopter video of two men smashing his truck window with a brick, hauling him from a cab, then beating him with a broken bottle and kicking him until the side of his face caved in.
In court, his tormentors were belligerent and unrepentant, yielding no ground. With worldwide media looking on, Reginald Denny, his face still swollen and misshapen, shook off the protests of his lawyers, made his way over to the mothers of the two defendants, hugged them, and told them he forgave them. The mothers embraced Denny, one declaring, “I love you.”
Denny sought to soothe racial tensions associated with his assault, reminding reporters that most of his rescuers were black, as were the doctors who treated him. He became friends with the four people who saved him, and one was hired by Denny's employer Transit Mixed. Denny also sought to make peace with his attackers' families, saying that Watson had "been through quite enough" having been jailed for 17 months awaiting trial. Watson later apologized to Denny during an appearance on the Phil Donahue Show, where the pair shook hands.
Jesus said this about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21–35
21 Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?
22 Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! [Gen. 4:24.]
23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants.
24 When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents [probably about $10,000,000],
25 And because he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made.
26 So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.
27 And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt.
28 But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii [about twenty dollars]; and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe!
29 So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!
30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master.
32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you?
34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.
35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.
He needs to learn a lesson. I don’t want to encourage irresponsible behavior. I’ll let her stew for a while; it will do her good. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. I was the wronged party—it’s not up to me to make the first move. How can I forgive if he’s not even sorry?
I marshal my arguments until something happens to wear down my resistance. When I finally soften to the point of granting forgiveness, it seems a capitulation, a leap from hard logic to mushy sentiment.
Why do I ever make such a leap? I have learned one factor that motivates me as a Christian: I am commanded to, as the child of a Father who forgives. But Christians have no monopoly on forgiveness. Why do any of us, Christian or unbeliever alike, choose this unnatural act? I can identify at least three pragmatic reasons, and the more I ponder these reasons for forgiveness, the more I recognize in them a logic that seems not only “hard” but foundational.
First, forgiveness alone can halt the cycle of blame and pain, breaking the chain of ungrace. In the New Testament the most common Greek word for forgiveness means, literally, to release, to hurl away, to free yourself.
Reginald Denny, the truck driver assaulted during the riots in South Central Los Angeles, demonstrated this power of grace. The entire nation watched the helicopter video of two men smashing his truck window with a brick, hauling him from a cab, then beating him with a broken bottle and kicking him until the side of his face caved in.
In court, his tormentors were belligerent and unrepentant, yielding no ground. With worldwide media looking on, Reginald Denny, his face still swollen and misshapen, shook off the protests of his lawyers, made his way over to the mothers of the two defendants, hugged them, and told them he forgave them. The mothers embraced Denny, one declaring, “I love you.”
Denny sought to soothe racial tensions associated with his assault, reminding reporters that most of his rescuers were black, as were the doctors who treated him. He became friends with the four people who saved him, and one was hired by Denny's employer Transit Mixed. Denny also sought to make peace with his attackers' families, saying that Watson had "been through quite enough" having been jailed for 17 months awaiting trial. Watson later apologized to Denny during an appearance on the Phil Donahue Show, where the pair shook hands.
Jesus said this about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21–35
21 Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?
22 Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! [Gen. 4:24.]
23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants.
24 When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents [probably about $10,000,000],
25 And because he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made.
26 So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.
27 And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt.
28 But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii [about twenty dollars]; and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe!
29 So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!
30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master.
32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you?
34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.
35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.
