I still wonder if I am really a Christian or not.

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

I still wonder if I am really a Christian or not. I think there is something wrong between me and God and I don't know what it is. I've been very frustrated with life. I'm tired about 98% of the time. Today I was listening to a podcast about surrendering to God. The people in the podcast make it sound it, once they surrendered then things got easier. But I can't tell if I'm trying to live life right in my own strength or in God's strength. My best guess is, I'm doing it in my own efforts. Lately, when I am alone, and tired, I hear something in my thoughts. It tells me that people at work are going to end up in Hell for the way they treat me. But I am also going to end up in Hell too, because my heart isn't right with God. This sounds a lot like Satan, picking on me, because I'm tired. Yet, if I am really a Child of the King, then it makes me wonder why is God allowing this? I listen to Christian Music, I listen to the Bible, I listen to Godly Podcasts, and I listen to Sermons. Plus I pray and confess to God my problems, and yet this continues to be a problem. I know that there is some people in my work life that I need to forgive, and let go. The memory of what they did, is stuck in my mind and I can't get it rid of it. I also pray about this! And yet, for some reason, I find myself upset about it again. I think some of this might be caused by the fact that I'm alone too much. When you are trying to live the Christian life and you got no trustworthy Christian friends in your life to help you. And you don't have anyone that you can help also. You sink into selfishness, and you can't help it. If it's you against the world, who is on your side in the fight? I know the 'right' answer. That answer is supposed to be Jesus. But Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit and the Church. For some weird reason my parents and I have never found a good Church for us. A Church that we can fit into. That is why I started writing about my Church past. What else can I do? I've been praying already. These are all reasons why I end up questioning if I'm even a Child of God. I don't feel like God is loving me and taking care of me. I can take a step back, and try and look at the big picture. I can say things like: I got a house to live in, I got a job, I got food on the table. and I got plenty of things... I count those as blessings, and yet, I feel incomplete. I feel that I would be willing to give up some of my things for just having a real life friend to talk too!

Often times I find myself saying: "I stink at everything". It is true that I am not perfect at anything. As soon as I start to feel good about something I'm doing, then something happens to knock me down. I could give you an example right now, but decided not to, because I think it would be a very nit picky example. But I think, if I were to sit and think really hard, I could come up with an entire post about it.

I just got to thinking that this might not be the best place to post all of this. I have been trying to find another website where I could just writing stuff. A place where other people could read and comment. But not have it be in a community like this. It takes a lot of work and research, and I'm tired, and busy with other things. So I thought maybe make this into a prayer request/blog thingy. I always hope that one day God will lead me into peace.

 

[Azriel]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but I believe God for a Powerful positive outcome.

Try this, Look at your old life before you get saved. Think about you catch the morning think about the reason you accepted Jesus into your heart and then look at your life today. Do you see a change for the better?

See if you can get anything out of this.

How can I know if I am saved? | GotQuestions.org

How can I know if I am saved? How can I know for sure that I am saved?

www.gotquestions.org

 

[Taylor]

The salvation and well-being of mankind is the most important thing on God’s mind. He’s most concerned about people, and that’s the reason He gave His Son to be crucified for the sins of men. Jesus came to mend broken hearts, heal the sick, give hope to downcast, strengthen the weak and make sinners become the righteousness of God. The Bible states: “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:17).

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

I think for anyone that is raised in a Christian home, following Jesus can be a different or maybe a strange experience. What I mean is, when someone who lives a life of hardcore sin, and then they repent and ask Jesus to come into their heart. The Jesus experience can be very dramatic. But I asked Jesus in my heart at the age of 6. Then I tried to be a good person, and follow almost all of the rules. Of course I'm not perfect, but I wasn't someone going out of my way to get into trouble. I don't have much to compare my old life without Christ, to my New Life with Christ. It feels like God deals with people differently, depending on their background, and how they came to believe in Christ. Take the podcast I was listening to, for an example. It is two people who lived a wild life, and now they are following Jesus. For them the change is very evident. It seems like God the Father, gives people like them a little extra help. But people like me, He doesn't because I grew up in Christian home. I asked him into my heart at a very young age. So the life/faith Journey looks and behaves differently. I'm not saying that I'm a 100% sure that I am right. It could be that God lets me go through this hardship to humble me. But after 20 or 25 years of it, you'd think, enough is enough. I mean how long does it take someone to learn the lesson? If it takes me this long, then I doubt that I'm going to learn the lesson! I guess you could argue that the Israelites had to wonder in the wilderness for 40 years. That didn't even seem to teach them. They continued to sin, and God kept trying to correct them. Maybe the word "trying" isn't a good word, since, He knew they would behave this way. I don't know...

I know about the website got questions. I read that article and it's pretty good. I wish I had a pastor to talk too. The last pastor I talked too, ended up hurting me and my parents. He spread rumors so that He didn't take the fall for the issues He was causing in the Church! The other pastor I tried talking too, left the Church in just one year. Since those times, I haven't had access to any pastors.

 

[Taylor]

I think for anyone that is raised in a Christian home, following Jesus can be a different or maybe a strange experience. What I mean is, when someone who lives a life of hardcore sin, and then they repent and ask Jesus to come into their heart. The Jesus experience can be very dramatic. But I asked Jesus in my heart at the age of 6. Then I tried to be a good person, and follow almost all of the rules. Of course I'm not perfect, but I wasn't someone going out of my way to get into trouble. I don't have much to compare my old life without Christ, to my New Life with Christ. It feels like God deals with people differently, depending on their background, and how they came to believe in Christ. Take the podcast I was listening to, for an example. It is two people who lived a wild life, and now they are following Jesus. For them the change is very evident. It seems like God the Father, gives people like them a little extra help. But people like me, He doesn't because I grew up in Christian home. I asked him into my heart at a very young age. So the life/faith Journey looks and behaves differently. I'm not saying that I'm a 100% sure that I am right. It could be that God lets me go through this hardship to humble me. But after 20 or 25 years of it, you'd think, enough is enough. I mean how long does it take someone to learn the lesson? If it takes me this long, then I doubt that I'm going to learn the lesson! I guess you could argue that the Israelites had to wonder in the wilderness for 40 years. That didn't even seem to teach them. They continued to sin, and God kept trying to correct them. Maybe the word "trying" isn't a good word, since, He knew they would behave this way. I don't know...

I know about the website got questions. I read that article and it's pretty good. I wish I had a pastor to talk too. The last pastor I talked too, ended up hurting me and my parents. He spread rumors so that He didn't take the fall for the issues He was causing in the Church! The other pastor I tried talking too, left the Church in just one year. Since those times, I haven't had access to any pastors.

I can completely understand where you're coming from. I was saved At a young age myself and I was a really good kid Also. Then some really crazy things happen and for the next 25 years I ran with the Devil. Anyone that knew me would never believe that it would be possible for me to surrender my life to Jesus. But at 33 that's exactly what I did. My first church experience after I came back home to Jesus was a lot like what happened with you. This church was my first time attending and they Thank you buddyhad just purchased a new building after meeting in the park for several years. So my first time back in church since I was a kid I noticed members of the church talking and I heard part of the conversation someone asking did you hear what happened to the pastor. I'm thinking maybe a traffic accident or something like that.

Then they come out and announce but the pastor is no longer leading that church because he was caught in adultery with one of the ladies in the church. And if that weren't bad enough the guy tells us that the youth pastor is history since he molested one of the underaged females in the church and is sitting in jail.

What happened after that was I tried to serve God but I kept finding myself slipping back to my old ways so I figured I had lost my salvation. Then I found a bunch of cassette tapes from some old preacher from the Billy Graham days and I listened to them. his topic was on eternal security. I studied those tapes for 3 days. I looked up all the scriptures that he provided. And I found out that you can't lose you so salvation and that one Saved always Saved is where it's at. Man I wanted to jump up and run across the desert and tell everybody I met but what I had just discovered. So you might want to study out eternal security. There are a lot of good books about it.

Also, and please don't take this the wrong way because I have no idea if this is the problem but the thought came to my mind that you might be suffering from clinical depression. I went through a bout of that About a month or so ago. Hopefully you didn't last very long and I'm back on top of things. But when you're depressed everything seems helpless. Just a thought.

So AlwaysOnAJourney when my wife and I do our daily devotions in the morning I will definitely bring you up in prayer. Don't give up! The thing is God has a plan for your life and you may be able to help someone else it's going through a similar situation as yourself.

God bless.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

@Taylor Maybe if you and your wife want to pray for me, then I should PM you my Church story. It is not complete, but it is 4 pages long. I think it is good enough to give you a good idea of what happened. It is not exactly like what happened to you. But can completely understand how those events would mess you up! I have been struggling with depression for many years. My parents are against me getting help. But many many many years ago, I was in vocational rehab, and it was required that I get some help. Back then it wasn't for depression. They tried to treat me for OCD, and some other issues. The meds didn't help, and got told that the doctors couldn't help me because the medications didn't work. Currently I am on an anti-depressant, but my normal doctor did not put me on it for that reason. He did so because it is also used for another medical issue that I have. I was hoping that maybe it would do something for the depression.

I have studied once saved always saved. Several years ago I found a whole website about it. The same guy put out many youtube videos about it. I turned them into audio files and listened to them at work. I'm not fully convinced because that would mean that God takes away a persons freewill to choose between serving Jesus or serving Satan. I think if someone gets upset enough at God and wants to go in the other direction, I think God allows Him or Her to do so... When people walk away from Jesus, I don't think it is as simple as many think it is. Like, many think it is simply because a person wants to live in sin. Rather I think most people walk away because things get hard, and life becomes confusing. What they thought was correct about the Christian faith got tested, and something didn't add up for them anymore. I'm sure that sin often comes into play, because once a person decides to walk away, there is no longer a reason to resist sin anymore.

Here is the videos I listened too:

Once Saved.org

Proclaiming Our Eternal Security in Jesus Christ

oncesaved.org

Since I had to do a search to find that "once saved always saved" website again, I also just found this one:

Once Saved Always Saved? | Once Saved Not Always Saved . Com | United Statesoncesavednotalwayssaved.com

oncesavednotalwayssaved.com/once saved not always saved . comoncesavednotalwayssaved.com

www.oncesavednotalwayssaved.com

It has a long list of scriptures used to arguing that once saved always saved is incorrect.

The bottom line is, I don't care who is right. Christians have been arguing about this for generations!!! I only care to be right with Jesus, and find His purpose for my life. As long as you are walking with the Lord, and serving Him, I think it is perfectly fine if you believe in once saved always saved, or the other one.

Would you be willing to read my Church story, and tell me what you think?

 

[Taylor]

@Taylor Maybe if you and your wife want to pray for me, then I should PM you my Church story. It is not complete, but it is 4 pages long. I think it is good enough to give you a good idea of what happened. It is not exactly like what happened to you. But can completely understand how those events would mess you up! I have been struggling with depression for many years. My parents are against me getting help. But many many many years ago, I was in vocational rehab, and it was required that I get some help. Back then it wasn't for depression. They tried to treat me for OCD, and some other issues. The meds didn't help, and got told that the doctors couldn't help me because the medications didn't work. Currently I am on an anti-depressant, but my normal doctor did not put me on it for that reason. He did so because it is also used for another medical issue that I have. I was hoping that maybe it would do something for the depression.

I have studied once saved always saved. Several years ago I found a whole website about it. The same guy put out many youtube videos about it. I turned them into audio files and listened to them at work. I'm not fully convinced because that would mean that God takes away a persons freewill to choose between serving Jesus or serving Satan. I think if someone gets upset enough at God and wants to go in the other direction, I think God allows Him or Her to do so... When people walk away from Jesus, I don't think it is as simple as many think it is. Like, many think it is simply because a person wants to live in sin. Rather I think most people walk away because things get hard, and life becomes confusing. What they thought was correct about the Christian faith got tested, and something didn't add up for them anymore. I'm sure that sin often comes into play, because once a person decides to walk away, there is no longer a reason to resist sin anymore.

Here is the videos I listened too:

Once Saved.org

Proclaiming Our Eternal Security in Jesus Christ

oncesaved.org

Since I had to do a search to find that "once saved always saved" website again, I also just found this one:

Once Saved Always Saved? | Once Saved Not Always Saved . Com | United Statesoncesavednotalwayssaved.com

oncesavednotalwayssaved.com/once saved not always saved . comoncesavednotalwayssaved.com

www.oncesavednotalwayssaved.com

It has a long list of scriptures used to arguing that once saved always saved is incorrect.

The bottom line is, I don't care who is right. Christians have been arguing about this for generations!!! I only care to be right with Jesus, and find His purpose for my life. As long as you are walking with the Lord, and serving Him, I think it is perfectly fine if you believe in once saved always saved, or the other one.

Would you be willing to read my Church story, and tell me what you think?

sure send it I'll read it

 

[Rockson]

I still wonder if I am really a Christian or not. I think there is something wrong between me and God and I don't know what it is. I've been very frustrated with life. I'm tired about 98% of the time. Today I was listening to a podcast about surrendering to God. The people in the podcast make it sound it, once they surrendered then things got easier. But I can't tell if I'm trying to live life right in my own strength or in God's strength. My best guess is, I'm doing it in my own efforts.

Just a moment. What do you mean doing whatever in your own strength? I'd encourage you not to fall for the leaven of passivity which would say let go and everything is God. We, we, WE are required to build a prayer life....we are required to renew our minds Eph 4:23 with the word of God Rom 12:1,2 ....We are required to stand fast on the word of God Eph 6:10 and to use the sword of the Spirit the word of God to play out the devil's defeat. Jesus also said according to the measure we measure it, Mk 4:24 it victory shall be measured to us. How much of the word of God do we plant in our spirits each day Mark 4 ....how much prayer, and fellowship with the Lord to we give. It's not legalism but we do need to stir things up by our spiritual actions. 2 Tim 1:6

I know that there is some people in my work life that I need to forgive, and let go. The memory of what they did, is stuck in my mind and I can't get it rid of it.

It's helped me to forgive when I keep in mind humans are being influenced by the devil to say of do horrible things. When we choose to appreciate that fact it makes it easier to think of them as victims themselves.

 

[Frank Russell]

like hell is sprouting up from everywhere, and God has instructed us to plant a garden.

we know what works from principle, and what doesn't work by virtue of it's effectiveness when applied.

Many things said from pulpits do not stand up when tested with application; The seed is planted, the root takes hold, but the fruit tries to bite your head off. It's atrocious.

Since most people are not aware of the connection between seed, plant, and fruit in connection to God's word - doctrine is what it is, cannot expect much - just apply what has the best fruit and move forward.

God knows . so it doesn't matter what others think. it's His kingdom afterall.

 

[SteveB]

I still wonder if I am really a Christian or not.

Do you trust in Jesus?

I think there is something wrong between me and God and I don't know what it is.

could be.
thankfully, according to Jeremiah 1:10, God doesn't leave us there.
furthermore, according to Philippians 1:6, and Psalm 138:8, God doesn't quit on us.
then, according to Philippians 2:12-13, God is actively working in our lives to bring about the ultimate success of our life in following Jesus.

I've been very frustrated with life.

i can appreciate that. I think just about every single follower of Jesus experiences some level of frustration in life.

I'm tired about 98% of the time.

That'd suck.

Today I was listening to a podcast about surrendering to God. The people in the podcast make it sound it, once they surrendered then things got easier.

There is truth to things becoming less of a burden.
Jesus said,
I came that you might have life, and that more abundantly. John 10:10.
In Matthew 11:28-30, he says he will give us rest for our souls.

But I can't tell if I'm trying to live life right in my own strength or in God's strength.

The only way to live it in God's Strength is to exchange our thinking with God's Word.
2 Peter 1:2-8
Nehemiah 8:10
Philippians 4:4-9

My best guess is, I'm doing it in my own efforts.

you can choose.
he wants to fill your heart with abundant joy, peace, satisfaction, rest/restoration, hope, encouragement, love, .....
what do you want for you?

Lately, when I am alone, and tired, I hear something in my thoughts. It tells me that people at work are going to end up in Hell for the way they treat me.

it is written in 2 Thessalonians 1:
2Th 1:4-10 WEB 4 so that we ourselves boast about you in the assemblies of God for your perseverance and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions which you endure. 5 This is an obvious sign of the righteous judgment of God, to the end that you may be counted worthy of God’s Kingdom, for which you also suffer. 6 For it is a righteous thing with God to repay affliction to those who afflict you, 7 and to give relief to you who are afflicted with us when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, 8 punishing those who don’t know God, and to those who don’t obey the Good News of our Lord Jesus, 9 who will pay the penalty: eternal destruction from the face of the Lord and from the glory of his might, 10 when he comes in that day to be glorified in his saints and to be admired among all those who have believed, because our testimony to you was believed.

That said, Jesus describes for us our state because we follow him, and he instructs us how to react to their cruelty.

But I am also going to end up in Hell too, because my heart isn't right with God.

This starts with the new birth. It's described in Ezekiel 36:25-27, and 1 Peter 1:23.

This sounds a lot like Satan, picking on me, because I'm tired.

that is a common problem. We're given the resources to successfully fight against the devil and his minions. Ephesians 6:10-18.

Yet, if I am really a Child of the King, then it makes me wonder why is God allowing this?

We all grow up in our walk in Christ.
the dynamic is described as
We're spiritually born. As we grow, we're like a child, growing up. Literally... new born, baby crawling, crying, teething, learning to walk, etc.... through to adulthood.
Each stage of life having its requisite elements.

I listen to Christian Music,

Good. Do you sing praise? It's actually quite beneficial and encouraging.

I listen to the Bible, I listen to Godly Podcasts, and I listen to Sermons. Plus I pray and confess to God my problems, and yet this continues to be a problem. I know that there is some people in my work life that I need to forgive, and let go. The memory of what they did, is stuck in my mind and I can't get it rid of it. I also pray about this! And yet, for some reason, I find myself upset about it again. I think some of this might be caused by the fact that I'm alone too much. When you are trying to live the Christian life and you got no trustworthy Christian friends in your life to help you. And you don't have anyone that you can help also. You sink into selfishness, and you can't help it. If it's you against the world, who is on your side in the fight? I know the 'right' answer. That answer is supposed to be Jesus. But Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit and the Church. For some weird reason my parents and I have never found a good Church for us. A Church that we can fit into. That is why I started writing about my Church past. What else can I do? I've been praying already. These are all reasons why I end up questioning if I'm even a Child of God. I don't feel like God is loving me and taking care of me. I can take a step back, and try and look at the big picture. I can say things like: I got a house to live in, I got a job, I got food on the table. and I got plenty of things... I count those as blessings, and yet, I feel incomplete. I feel that I would be willing to give up some of my things for just having a real life friend to talk too!

Often times I find myself saying: "I stink at everything".

Good. Your just recognized that what Jesus says is true-- without me, you can do nothing.
contrasting that-- with him, you can everything!

It is true that I am not perfect at anything.

Thankfully, He's made us complete, and perfected those who are being sanctified.
Colossians 2:6-10, Hebrews 10:10-14.

As soon as I start to feel good about something I'm doing, then something happens to knock me down.

welcome to the human race and experience.

I could give you an example right now, but decided not to, because I think it would be a very nit picky example. But I think, if I were to sit and think really hard, I could come up with an entire post about it.

I just got to thinking that this might not be the best place to post all of this. I have been trying to find another website where I could just writing stuff. A place where other people could read and comment. But not have it be in a community like this. It takes a lot of work and research, and I'm tired, and busy with other things. So I thought maybe make this into a prayer request/blog thingy. I always hope that one day God will lead me into peace.

Draw near to Jesus and place your trust in him. Believe what the Bible says.
Quote it back to yourself.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

I know that people make a bible argument for these, and this is part of the reason why we got different denominations.

If I understand the Bible correctly. In order to be saved, you must have the Holy Spirit. It has always been my understanding that when one prays, confesses being a sinner, and asks Jesus to come in, you get the Holy Spirit. However some make a Bible argument that is not when you get the Holy Spirit. Those who argue that you don't get it until you finally speak in tongues as evidence that you got the Holy Spirit. Views like this causes controversy, so believers go in different directions. As they say, "Birds of a Feather will Flock together". I often wonder who is right.

I also tend to think, that one can loose the Holy Spirit. I think if you persist in sin, and ignore the spirit telling you to quit it, He will eventually leave. I know that you can make bible arguments for this point of view, and you can make bible arguments against it.

These are things that swirl around in my head, when I think or feel that I'm not saved.

 

[Rockson]

I know that people make a bible argument for these, and this is part of the reason why we got different denominations.

If I understand the Bible correctly. In order to be saved, you must have the Holy Spirit. It has always been my understanding that when one prays, confesses being a sinner, and asks Jesus to come in, you get the Holy Spirit. However some make a Bible argument that is not when you get the Holy Spirit. Those who argue that you don't get it until you finally speak in tongues as evidence that you got the Holy Spirit. Views like this causes controversy, so believers go in different directions. As they say, "Birds of a Feather will Flock together". I often wonder who is right.

I also tend to think, that one can loose the Holy Spirit. I think if you persist in sin, and ignore the spirit telling you to quit it, He will eventually leave. I know that you can make bible arguments for this point of view, and you can make bible arguments against it.

These are things that swirl around in my head, when I think or feel that I'm not saved.

What I see you doing is you're looking at differences of opinions Christians have and you wrongly conclude like Pilate a way of thinking like What Is Truth? Or can the truth of something ever be defined as being such? Imagine for a moment children learning the difference between 5 + 5 as compared to 5 X 5 .

One group gets and understands the difference and another group doesn't. For the reason that there's a difference between the two doesn't mean we're right to conclude the answer is obscure or some mystery. No just have faith that if you pray and be sincere and fight against being bias just know that you can end up in rightly dividing the word of truth.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

What I see you doing is you're looking at differences of opinions Christians have and you wrongly conclude like Pilate a way of thinking like What Is Truth? Or can the truth of something ever be defined as being such? Imagine for a moment children learning the difference between 5 + 5 as compared to 5 X 5 .

One group gets and understands the difference and another group doesn't. For the reason that there's a difference between the two doesn't mean we're right to conclude the answer is obscure or some mystery. No just have faith that if you pray and be sincere and fight against being bias just know that you can end up in rightly dividing the word of truth.

I think that the problem is, each Christian thinks He's rightly dividing the word of truth. But as soon as He thinks that to himself, He's no longer rightly dividing anything. The idea is that the Holy Spirit is what is helping the Christian to rightly divide the truth, and yet we may have biblical evidence that this is not the case. Take the 12 disciples for an example. They got to spend all their time with Jesus, and yet when Jesus was teaching, and speaking in parables, they didn't understand... In one scene Peter is saying something from the Father, and in the very next scene He's saying something from the devil.

Matthew 16
Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah

13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

---------------------------

Jesus Predicts His Death

21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”

23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.

28 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

---------------------------

It seems that Paul had a direct connection to the Spirit, and always got things right. At least what God allowed in scripture by him is right. However I have never met any Christian who is right as often as Paul is. I feel like I'm taking the safe side by telling everyone that I am never right about anything. At least nobody can accuse me of misleading them.

You may be wondering why do I act like this? When I was in School, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I don't understand the learning disability thing. But I can tell you my experiences. In my experience, I had to work harder than everyone else in my class. I was wrong so often that I lost confidence in myself. I also don't have confidence in God. I crave security that I can never have. That is putting things nice and logical. But there is more to the story than logic. Humans have logic but we also have emotion too. Emotionally I feel pain all of the time. So even when I try to speak logical truth, the emotions fight back.

What makes me feel secure is when I can experience something the same way over and over again. I understand that I can't get everything I pray for. And yet only getting everything I pray for, would make me feel secure and confident in God. Inside of my brain is a battle. It is possible that I'm a double minded man. Since asking God to change my heart and mind never works, It might be logical to conclude that once I die He'll just send me to hell. In fact I think He must send me to hell, or His word isn't true.

James 1

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 

[SteveB]

I know that people make a bible argument for these, and this is part of the reason why we got different denominations.

If I understand the Bible correctly. In order to be saved, you must have the Holy Spirit. It has always been my understanding that when one prays, confesses being a sinner, and asks Jesus to come in, you get the Holy Spirit. However some make a Bible argument that is not when you get the Holy Spirit. Those who argue that you don't get it until you finally speak in tongues as evidence that you got the Holy Spirit. Views like this causes controversy, so believers go in different directions. As they say, "Birds of a Feather will Flock together". I often wonder who is right.

My question becomes....
Who will you believe?
The people or God's Word?
The next question is....
who are you following?
Jesus
or the followers of Jesus?
or even the followers of the followers of Jesus?
Jesus invites us to follow Jesus.
In Hebrews 12:1-3, we're instructed to place, and maintain our focus on Jesus.

I also tend to think, that one can loose the Holy Spirit.

loose or lose?

I think if you persist in sin, and ignore the spirit telling you to quit it, He will eventually leave.

The question here becomes...
By what means are you "trying to quit" sinning?
If you try by the power of the flesh, you'll fail every single time, no matter how hard you work to overcome. Romans 7.
there's only one way to not sin.
by the power of God's Word and Spirit. Romans 6-8, (with emphasis on 8:4-9), and Galatians 5:16-26.

I know that you can make bible arguments for this point of view, and you can make bible arguments against it.

The only thing that matters is that what God says in his Word.

These are things that swirl around in my head, when I think or feel that I'm not saved.

By whom are you saved?
By Jesus or by your efforts, successes, failures, etc....?

It's written in John 10,

Joh 10:27-30 WEB 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father who has given them to me is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”

Who gives you eternal life?
If He gives it to you, can you lose something that's a gift?

Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 1:12

2Ti 1:12 WEB For this cause I also suffer these things. Yet I am not ashamed, for I know him whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that he is able to guard that which I have committed to him against that day.

The thing that's important here is who saves you!
I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to lose, misplace or not give much care to truly important things in my life.
At some point I find myself taking some things for granted.

As such, I too have felt like I was a little too nonchalant about spiritual things. Often because I felt like I didn't really understand what was happening or how it works.

Thankfully, God has a much more dedicated commitment to us.

He tells us in philippians 1:6, and Psalms 138:8...

He's going to finish/complete/perfect our salvation in us.

Phi 1:6 WEB being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Psa 138:8 WEB Yahweh will fulfill that which concerns me. Your loving kindness, Yahweh, endures forever. Don’t forsake the works of your own hands.



Then, in Hebrews 7:25...


Heb 7:25 WEB Therefore he is also able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, seeing that he lives forever to make intercession for them.

So... take the time to engage YHVH in prayer. Talk to him about the things you're not understanding.

Please read Isaiah 1:18, 41:1, and 41:21.

Also, Matthew 11:27-30.

 

[Bob Carabbio]

I still wonder if I am really a Christian or not.

From what you say, the likelihood is that you've never been a Born Again Christian, since that would be the result of you placing FAITH (not belief) in The Sin Offering of Jesus. You're not demonstrating FAITH in anything. Christians are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, who bears witness with your spirit that you're a Child of God. It doesn't appear that you have that witness at all. I'd suggest getting together with a Baptist, or Assembly of God minister, and sharing your concerns with them.

 

[praise_yeshua]

From what you say, the likelihood is that you've never been a Born Again Christian, since that would be the result of you placing FAITH (not belief) in The Sin Offering of Jesus. You're not demonstrating FAITH in anything. Christians are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, who bears witness with your spirit that you're a Child of God. It doesn't appear that you have that witness at all. I'd suggest getting together with a Baptist, or Assembly of God minister, and sharing your concerns with them.

Confidence in a mistake/lie doesn't establish anything. I understand their point.

 

[praise_yeshua]

I think that the problem is, each Christian thinks He's rightly dividing the word of truth. But as soon as He thinks that to himself, He's no longer rightly dividing anything. The idea is that the Holy Spirit is what is helping the Christian to rightly divide the truth, and yet we may have biblical evidence that this is not the case. Take the 12 disciples for an example. They got to spend all their time with Jesus, and yet when Jesus was teaching, and speaking in parables, they didn't understand... In one scene Peter is saying something from the Father, and in the very next scene He's saying something from the devil.

Matthew 16
Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah

13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

---------------------------

Jesus Predicts His Death

21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”

23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.

28 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

---------------------------

It seems that Paul had a direct connection to the Spirit, and always got things right. At least what God allowed in scripture by him is right. However I have never met any Christian who is right as often as Paul is. I feel like I'm taking the safe side by telling everyone that I am never right about anything. At least nobody can accuse me of misleading them.

You may be wondering why do I act like this? When I was in School, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I don't understand the learning disability thing. But I can tell you my experiences. In my experience, I had to work harder than everyone else in my class. I was wrong so often that I lost confidence in myself. I also don't have confidence in God. I crave security that I can never have. That is putting things nice and logical. But there is more to the story than logic. Humans have logic but we also have emotion too. Emotionally I feel pain all of the time. So even when I try to speak logical truth, the emotions fight back.

What makes me feel secure is when I can experience something the same way over and over again. I understand that I can't get everything I pray for. And yet only getting everything I pray for, would make me feel secure and confident in God. Inside of my brain is a battle. It is possible that I'm a double minded man. Since asking God to change my heart and mind never works, It might be logical to conclude that once I die He'll just send me to hell. In fact I think He must send me to hell, or His word isn't true.

James 1

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

You're over "thinking this".

Verification of a relationship with God is rather simple. No son that comes to God asking for a "fish" and recieves a "stone". Sincerity in your appeal to God will get you..... your personal answer. Peace comes to sons. Comfort comes to sons. Answers come to sons.

When you don't have any answers..... When you're without comfort and peace, then you have the answer. No matter how we desire to "see it differently"...

God comforts His own. God actively works in the lives of His children.

If you pray to God and sincerely desire an answer, you will get your answer. Most are too afraid to expose themselves to God at such a level. It is the expression of acceptance. Such prayers are prayers of desperation. Prayers that abandon any and every sense of meaningfulness apart from knowing God. It is the willingness to accept what God gives to you personally in agreement with Him. It is as overwhelming emotional connection where you agree with God even when you don't know Him. It as much an abandonment of everything that is "you" to embrace God as it is most anything.

You want to know God, but have you realized that you don't really know Him? That is a deeply profound moment in every person's life. The abandonment of what everyone tells you to embrace God for what He really is.

If you're going to some "image" you have in your mind of God, then it is probably an idol. I did it for my entire childhood. I was raised to know to God but there was so many voices telling who and what God was in Jesus Christ. It is more important for you to abandon an idol of imagination than it to pretend you actually know God.

 

[Rockson]

I think that the problem is, each Christian thinks He's rightly dividing the word of truth.

Actually I don't believe every Christian is thinking they're rightly dividing the word of truth. I think some down right know they're being biased and are forcing interpretations the way they want it to read. There are some that willingly seek to surpress the truth.

It seems that Paul had a direct connection to the Spirit, and always got things right.

And you mentioned about struggles about the disciples in Jesus ministry time. But that was before the resurrection and they came to understand all things. So now you have the understood revelation by all of them by the time of the writings of those other then Paul.

However I have never met any Christian who is right as often as Paul is.

You're forgetting. The writings other then Paul in the New Testament are from people who are being just as right.

I feel like I'm taking the safe side by telling everyone that I am never right about anything. At least nobody can accuse me of misleading them.

Well the truth is you actually are right now. Sorry but you're leaving the impression people can't ascertain truth. You can't. So is everyone who might say they can being presumptuous and wrong? If that's the case then the whole Bible is a failure and God's work to provide instructions about right and wrong.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

From what you say, the likelihood is that you've never been a Born Again Christian, since that would be the result of you placing FAITH (not belief) in The Sin Offering of Jesus. You're not demonstrating FAITH in anything. Christians are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, who bears witness with your spirit that you're a Child of God. It doesn't appear that you have that witness at all. I'd suggest getting together with a Baptist, or Assembly of God minister, and sharing your concerns with them.

I can tell you that is impossible. I've been to too many different Churches. Those Churches are not going to help me with this. If I actually had a good Church with a good minister. I probably wouldn't be in this mess.

 

[Bob Carabbio]

I can tell you that is impossible. I've been to too many different Churches. Those Churches are not going to help me with this. If I actually had a good Church with a good minister. I probably wouldn't be in this mess.

So you just want to stay miserable and confused, then. My suggestion stays the same.