21 years on the internet, 44 years of life, and I still feel completely misunderstood.

AOAJ, what is it that you want to do here?
To have a safe place to be his self without condemnation. I promised him he would have that place here. A place where he can share his life/experiences with us and be in a community. The bible instructs us to bear one anothers burdens, to comfort the brokenhearted, to come along side them with compassion and empathy. This persons faith has been crushed and mocked in the past both inside and outside the church because he is different from most and has a medical condition that he had from his youth into adulthood.

JUST an FYI to any member here I will not tolerate any personal attacks on AOAJ. That is unacceptable and will result in a vacation. I will personally see to that for sure and that it happens.

Debating and arguing over scripture is one thing, making fun and mocking someone with medical issues will not be tolerated.

And if we lose members over this post then so be it. That lets me know where a persons heart really is and we are better off without them here.

@jeremiah1five thanks for asking. :)

hope this helps !!!
 
Last edited:
Perhaps you will get to the point of not looking to others - as well as yourself - for stability and hope.
It took me some time in my life to realize this.

Cast thyself into the loving and merciful arms of the Lord Jesus. The Bible says to pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord (Lamentations 2:19). Jesus will never disappoint you (Romans 10:11).
 
Perhaps you will get to the point of not looking to others - as well as yourself - for stability and hope.
It took me some time in my life to realize this.

Cast thyself into the loving and merciful arms of the Lord Jesus. The Bible says to pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord (Lamentations 3:19). Jesus will never disappoint you (Romans 10:11).
Fred as you know everyones journey and experience is different especially when there are disorders on our brain.
 
Fred as you know everyones journey and experience is different especially when there are disorders on our brain.

Yes, so true.

Sometimes I think (the majority?) of people that are in mental institutions are more normal than normal people in that they may see the insanity of this sick, vile and cruel world more clearly than others. Their reaction to it (by how they behave and think) is less of a cover up than we who deceive ourselves in thinking that everything (most things?) is ok in our "civilized society."
 
To have a safe place to be his self without condemnation.
ATTACK!.....................................condemnation.
I promised him he would have that place here. A place where he can share his life/experiences with us and be in a community. The bible instructs us to bear one anothers burdens, to comfort the brokenhearted, to come along side them with compassion and empathy. This persons faith has been crushed and mocked in the past both inside and outside the church because he is different from most and has a medical condition that he had from his youth into adulthood.

JUST an FYI to any member here I will not tolerate any personal attacks on AOAJ. That is unacceptable and will result in a vacation. I will personally see to that for sure and that it happens.
Believe that!
Debating and arguing over scripture is one thing, making fun and mocking someone with medical issues will not be tolerated.

And if we lose members over this post then so be it. That lets me know where a persons heart really is and we are better off without them here.
Here, here!
@jeremiah1five thanks for asking. :)

hope this helps !!!
I'm sure it will, bro.
I may not be privy to his medical condition, but I've also shared mine lately and I've also shared some of my personal things with you, so I can appreciate not having friends (I don't) or being seen as misunderstood (I am), and other particulars. But this is what the Lord is doing in my life and to be quite honest, no one would want the calling the Lord has placed in my life. It's been said that Christians are the only group that kill their wounded, and I can share my wounds I've suffered these past six years from people expected to be your shield but instead became your sword (in the back.)
And to @AlwaysOnAJourney , send me a PM and we'll talk. I may have acquaintances but don't have a friend either. I can use the fellowship.
 
The way I try to get close to God is through listening the Bible at work. I do this everyday. I listen to Christian Music, and clean music. No cuss words, if I can help it. I have listened to self help type Christian books and find them interesting. Usually not very helpful because they are jammed packed full of stuff. A person's brain can only process so much, you know... I like C.S. Lewis, so I have listened to many of his books, and some several times. I listen to a lot of Christian podcasts from various people. They are all interesting. One time listened to one about "Do you need to be baptized to be saved" It went for 4 hours! I listened to it, because at that time in my life my Parents and I were attending a Church that believed that you must first repent and be baptized to be saved. That was an usual experience for us, because that is not how the Churches we grew up in taught it. The point I'm trying to make is, I don't think my spiritual, emotional, mental problems is caused by a lack of Christian resources. I think my spiritual problem, and even my emotional problems, and perhaps there could be a link to my mental problems, is caused by a lack of fellowship.

With fellowship, we support each other, and meet each others needs. Even back when I attended Church every Sunday. BTW I did that from the time I was born until 2020. We as a family started to notice that the Churches we were going to, wasn't friendly or caring. At least not to us. We are not outgoing people, but we tried to make an effort to get to know some people, and you could just tell by the way they behaved they had no interest what so ever! Even at work, most of these people are Church going people, and they will just walk right by me and say nothing. Even the ones who will say hi, don't really want to know how I am doing. It is no wonder that we had this kind of issue in the local Churches. It's the same people at my job as the people in those Churches. I look around, and see that they have their in groups, I've lived here my whole life, how come I'm not included??? That is why I constantly feel like "nobody likes me". But I don't know what I do wrong. Sometimes people on the internet will judge me as being selfish. I know this because I have been told that. That is not the right thing to say, because all anyone has to judge is my own words. People in real life get to see my actions too. So what are they judging? I guess the fact that I haven't been supporting them? I don't know how!!! Back in the early 2000s, when it was easier for me to make online friends. (They never lasted) I used to give advice to people. I even used to pray for people on Instant messengers! But times have changed. Things are less person to person. It's like we created some kind of soup of individuals all posting different things... The problem I see with Christian forums is that we keep talking about the same things over and over again. I like problems that can be solved!!!! Bible Theology is not a problem that can be solved. You can not put God in a box, and dissect Him or His ways.

At the end of the day, there is only one thing you can do. Get right with Jesus, and do the best you can to follow. And I think part of following Christ means being a friend.
 
Perhaps you will get to the point of not looking to others - as well as yourself - for stability and hope.
It took me some time in my life to realize this.

Cast thyself into the loving and merciful arms of the Lord Jesus. The Bible says to pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord (Lamentations 2:19). Jesus will never disappoint you (Romans 10:11).
I love it! I'm still a work in progress God's not done with me yet. I'm being transformed into his image from glory to glory. Hallelujah thank you Jesus. Thank you for your holy spirit to guide and direct us.
 
The way I try to get close to God is through listening the Bible at work. I do this everyday. I listen to Christian Music, and clean music. No cuss words, if I can help it. I have listened to self help type Christian books and find them interesting. Usually not very helpful because they are jammed packed full of stuff. A person's brain can only process so much, you know... I like C.S. Lewis, so I have listened to many of his books, and some several times. I listen to a lot of Christian podcasts from various people. They are all interesting. One time listened to one about "Do you need to be baptized to be saved" It went for 4 hours! I listened to it, because at that time in my life my Parents and I were attending a Church that believed that you must first repent and be baptized to be saved. That was an usual experience for us, because that is not how the Churches we grew up in taught it. The point I'm trying to make is, I don't think my spiritual, emotional, mental problems is caused by a lack of Christian resources. I think my spiritual problem, and even my emotional problems, and perhaps there could be a link to my mental problems, is caused by a lack of fellowship.

With fellowship, we support each other, and meet each others needs. Even back when I attended Church every Sunday. BTW I did that from the time I was born until 2020. We as a family started to notice that the Churches we were going to, wasn't friendly or caring. At least not to us. We are not outgoing people, but we tried to make an effort to get to know some people, and you could just tell by the way they behaved they had no interest what so ever! Even at work, most of these people are Church going people, and they will just walk right by me and say nothing. Even the ones who will say hi, don't really want to know how I am doing. It is no wonder that we had this kind of issue in the local Churches. It's the same people at my job as the people in those Churches. I look around, and see that they have their in groups, I've lived here my whole life, how come I'm not included??? That is why I constantly feel like "nobody likes me". But I don't know what I do wrong. Sometimes people on the internet will judge me as being selfish. I know this because I have been told that. That is not the right thing to say, because all anyone has to judge is my own words. People in real life get to see my actions too. So what are they judging? I guess the fact that I haven't been supporting them? I don't know how!!! Back in the early 2000s, when it was easier for me to make online friends. (They never lasted) I used to give advice to people. I even used to pray for people on Instant messengers! But times have changed. Things are less person to person. It's like we created some kind of soup of individuals all posting different things... The problem I see with Christian forums is that we keep talking about the same things over and over again. I like problems that can be solved!!!! Bible Theology is not a problem that can be solved. You can not put God in a box, and dissect Him or His ways.

At the end of the day, there is only one thing you can do. Get right with Jesus, and do the best you can to follow. And I think part of following Christ means being a friend.
I hear you... Christian music is the best. To me the best thing on earth is lifting my hands and praising my Lord with all my heart. I'm going to have to post to worship song now😇

I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad, He has made me glad
I will rejoice for he has made me glad
He has made me glad, He has made me glad
I will rejoice for he has made me glad

 
Interesting description.
I began using computers in 1997, following my recovery from the first of several cancer surgeries.
I was 37. By late 1999, maybe mid 2000, I began hanging around on the Netscape forums. For me, it was about exploring the world through the internet.
By 2003, I'd discovered forums. I was 43, and just wanted to feel useful. By this time I'd had 5 cancer surgeries, lost my mother in law and my mom, and my grandfather, and 2 dogs.
I was teetering on the edge of madness and was struggling with life and death. While the physicality of death was ever present, mentally and I suppose emotionally, I was a mess.
Having my life torn apart and experiencing YHVH recreating a new life I'm still learning about even today, 21 years later... is a curious thing.

I don't wish my experiences on anyone... but if you genuinely seek to be understood, Seek YHVH.

I'm nearing my 64th birthday.

I want to encourage you to focus on Jesus.
I'm not saying you're not already doing this...

I'm just saying...
Focus on Jesus.
Make a concerted effort to pray always and daily.
Make a concerted effort to read the Bible daily. I generally read in the morning.

I trust God's Word and His Grace to reach into your heart and mind in a way that will.... as C.S.Lewis said...

Surprise you with Joy.

I remember in early 2010, I would wake up and as I was preparing my breakfast, I was perceiving a really strong sense of joy dancing around the edges of my awareness. Almost like a dear friend from childhood was asking me to come out and play with them. Someone whose friendship and company whom I long enjoyed, and yet missed, was teasing, toying with, and playfully inviting me...

Come on Steve. Come and play with me. I've missed you. Let's try again.


A dancing, playfully, joyously reaching out for my hand, and bidding me..... come and play with me.


In describing it to a couple brothers one Saturday morning at men's breakfast, one brother all but slapped me, saying- that's God! What are you afraid of?!
 
Back
Top Bottom