AlwaysOnAJourney
Active member
Over the course of my 45 years of life, I have had to deal with constant and relentless, relationship confusion with people. To say that it hasn't effected my relationship with Jesus and His Church would be a lie.
You are probably thinking to yourself, "There must be a girl involved with this". You would be correct as far as my relationship with this "girl" has sparked me to make this prayer request, just as any of my pains in life, spires me to write stuff. But even this person was never in my life, this prayer request is needed. It is hard to go through life all alone. It is hard to serve the Lord all alone. That is why Jesus gave us His Church, and other relationships. I thank God that I still have my parents but they are 76 years old, and not as good of shape as they used to be. Dad recently had to have his heart valve worked on, and for the past several weeks has been working on recovery at home. Mom has been going through her own issues with age. And I continue to deal with my physical and mental issues.
All of a sudden, out of the blue, I'm seeing more and more people both in my real life and online life going on mission trips across seas. It is weird, but I feel left out, even though I've never been a big fan of mission trips. Never been against them, just that I think there needs to be more outreach in our own backyards. You could even take me and my parents for an example. We basically fell out of fellowship in 2001. No matter how hard we tried to get back into fellowship, we got quietly rejected. Finally in 2021 we finally gave up on it. And we have been in that state ever since. I really hope that after my Dad recovers from the heart thing that we as a family will try another church again. After all someone came over and prayed with my Dad, and invited us to their Church. Yet when I talked with Mom about it, she was like "eh". I don't want to try it on my own, because working 2:00 PM - 10:30 PM on my feet for 8 hours every night, cleaning a large school, really burns me out. Plus I have been dealing with stomach problems, and my learning disability causing issues with my concentration and driving.
One weird thing, that I don't understand, It feels like my writing has gotten better. I never had a desire to be a writer. In fact, when I was in elementary school, the teachers told my parents that I may never learn to read and write. Just a year or so ago, I told a teacher that I don't claim to be a writer. I don't think she totally believed me. She recently released her first book, and I read it. She quit her job and now going on missions, and that might be her new life. I may never ever see her again. At least not this side of heaven. All of this stuff that I'm talking about has been emotionally hard for me. And to top things off, I still deal with constant confusions.
I watch hopelessly as I see people who were once very kind to me, change. It doesn't seem like they walk away from Jesus. But they change, and from my perspective not in the right direction. Because usually when people change they don't seem to like me anymore, and I never know what it is about me. My personality and other things about me, are just a result of me trying to walk with Jesus through my circumstances.
Whatever you want to pray is fine.
You are probably thinking to yourself, "There must be a girl involved with this". You would be correct as far as my relationship with this "girl" has sparked me to make this prayer request, just as any of my pains in life, spires me to write stuff. But even this person was never in my life, this prayer request is needed. It is hard to go through life all alone. It is hard to serve the Lord all alone. That is why Jesus gave us His Church, and other relationships. I thank God that I still have my parents but they are 76 years old, and not as good of shape as they used to be. Dad recently had to have his heart valve worked on, and for the past several weeks has been working on recovery at home. Mom has been going through her own issues with age. And I continue to deal with my physical and mental issues.
All of a sudden, out of the blue, I'm seeing more and more people both in my real life and online life going on mission trips across seas. It is weird, but I feel left out, even though I've never been a big fan of mission trips. Never been against them, just that I think there needs to be more outreach in our own backyards. You could even take me and my parents for an example. We basically fell out of fellowship in 2001. No matter how hard we tried to get back into fellowship, we got quietly rejected. Finally in 2021 we finally gave up on it. And we have been in that state ever since. I really hope that after my Dad recovers from the heart thing that we as a family will try another church again. After all someone came over and prayed with my Dad, and invited us to their Church. Yet when I talked with Mom about it, she was like "eh". I don't want to try it on my own, because working 2:00 PM - 10:30 PM on my feet for 8 hours every night, cleaning a large school, really burns me out. Plus I have been dealing with stomach problems, and my learning disability causing issues with my concentration and driving.
One weird thing, that I don't understand, It feels like my writing has gotten better. I never had a desire to be a writer. In fact, when I was in elementary school, the teachers told my parents that I may never learn to read and write. Just a year or so ago, I told a teacher that I don't claim to be a writer. I don't think she totally believed me. She recently released her first book, and I read it. She quit her job and now going on missions, and that might be her new life. I may never ever see her again. At least not this side of heaven. All of this stuff that I'm talking about has been emotionally hard for me. And to top things off, I still deal with constant confusions.
I watch hopelessly as I see people who were once very kind to me, change. It doesn't seem like they walk away from Jesus. But they change, and from my perspective not in the right direction. Because usually when people change they don't seem to like me anymore, and I never know what it is about me. My personality and other things about me, are just a result of me trying to walk with Jesus through my circumstances.
Whatever you want to pray is fine.
