Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Do you have any siblings, just curious.
If you think that is bad, there is more where that came from. I have no siblings. In this big mess of writing you might be able to glean why.
In School I was kinda beat up. People called me names, tripped me in the hallways, broke up plastic rulers and used rubber bands to shoot them at me. And if that wasn't enough they had to give me wet willies in my ears too. I told that nobody liked me, I was told that I am ugly. One strange guy turned around in his seat and randomly said to me. "You will never have sex." I remember feeling about 3 conflicting emotions when He said that to me. Because as a Christian I am not supposed to be doing that sort of thing unless I'm married. But of course the girls used to look at me and say eww. It was a strange time in my life, for sure! Fast forward to 2008, I found myself on facebook. I started looking around for local people that I could try to make connections with. In the process of doing that I thought maybe by now, some of those people I knew in school would be mature and perhaps I could make things right with a few of them. What I discovered, was these people were not much better then they were before. Yeah some of them got married, and later divorced. Some had kids. Just about all of them moved away. They were 'ok' with me being on their friends list, but that is as far as it went. One woman asked to be my friend, but didn't make any kind of proper contact. I was still searching for people that I might be able to connect with, and then she sent me a random message asking me not to send any friend requests to any of her friends. By 2010 facebook banned me. The reason the website gave was that I was adding too many people too quickly and sending out too many private messages too quickly. I have not rejoined facebook since, instead I got in my block list.
Let's talk just a little more about the high school crap! One day in early 2000s, I was driving to my dentist to get a tooth that was bothering me, checked out. As I pulled into the parking lot, a short girl runs up to my car, and introduces herself to me, and asks if I remembered her or not. I knew exactly who she was! Then she called herself "The Outcast Girl of 1999." It was true, people at the school hated her. Not because she did anything worse then they did, but because they just didn't like her personality. You might be wondering, why do I bring this up? Typically in Church people don't come across so mean, but I think in their hearts they are. They look at people like me, and say to themselves, "He's not my type" so they gladly take my tithe money but they don't really care. They probably think, we are being nice because we are not saying anything mean. But not doing anything good is mean in it's own way. It is just another way of saying: "you are worthless to us" without putting it into words. This does not sound to me like people who are really serving Jesus.
I remember one time I was sitting in Sunday School Class, and the lesson was on how Jesus said to love your enemies. The one kid just made a joke about it. His dad was one of the leading people in that Church! That same kid and his friend tied my shoelaces to the table in the middle of a Bible lesson. Later, when I was in High School, it was my Junior year, He was in my Volcational Electronics Class. He was telling everyone that He is an Agnostic, which meant to him, "I believe in God but I don't care." He used every bad word in the book, and took God's name in vane while wearing a Promise Keepers t-shirt. I later learned that his friend, was now selling drugs to other kids. Those twerps came from the same Bible believing Church that I grew up in!!!! And I could go on about the crap. There is so much I got to say, I don't even want to try and write all of this stuff down. But it is all in side of me, like it or not, I can't forget. I can't forget the feelings. The memories keep coming back.
My Parents have had their own trials. Everything started out good. My Grandparents were not saved people. My Grandpa had a drinking and smoking problem, and he lived wild. My grandma kinda went along with it. But at a Church revival meeting, they both gave their lives to the Lord. And it changed both of them! My Dad grew up in that same denomination. My Dad gave his life over to the Lord, and wanted to serve as a pastor. He went to the same Bible Collage that the same denomination is in control of. He even graduated second highest in his class. And yet here is where the politics became 'god'. At least one person who was in charge did not want my Dad to succeed. He wouldn't send my Dad the papers He needed to fill out to get his license. So one of my Dad's friends, drove to the office, and got the papers for him. After that, whoever this high up dude was, (I don't his name) sent my dad to really really small run down church to pastor. My dad and mom lasted there for about a year. The house they stayed in, was so leaky that even duct tape couldn't hold out the cold coming in the windows! My Dad said He would duct tape around the windows to help keep the cold air out, and the wind would just blow the tap loose! That is how bad this place was! Mom and Dad couldn't make ends meet there, so they ended up quitting. My Dad started serving in another Church. This was a Calvinist type Church, but they still allowed my Dad and Mom to serve, even though they were not Calvinist. The guy at the denomination office, decided to throw my Dad's pastors license away. This story continues.
My point is, my dad has been in and out of ministry. And for reasons that He does not know, they don't like him. They got who they like, and to them, no matter how good my dad is with the bible, they don't care!
By the grace and mercy, and provision of God, my Parents and I survive. But they don't have a lot of money, and therefor they decided with the use of perminate birth control, not to have another kid. That makes me an only Child.
I realize that almost any form of birth control can be controversial subject among those in the Christian faith. But to them, it was act of being a good steward of what God gave them. I know that some might argue and say, they didn't have enough faith. Nothing I can do about it, I'm just the kid. And the child does not have a say in that sort of thing. So anyone who wants to argue about faith and birth control, I really don't care to hear it. I don't care to get into arguments over things I have no control over.