I think a friend got married and yet I'm not happy?

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

I had this friend that said they felt called into missions. They joined YWAM which according to my research is a mixed bag of good and bad. However also according to my research all the people have big hearts for Jesus and missions, even if the way they go about it might be considered a cult. I have been trying to resist following my 'friend' on social media. The reason is social media has a way of making me worse about myself. It appears, in a black and white picture, that she finally got married there. Due to the way she treated me at work, I could feel an emotional connection in myself to her. It was not something I wanted to have happen, but it happened anyways. Because of this turmoil inside myself I have tried praying in multiple different directions to see which way God would choose to answer, and above to relieve the emotional pain and obsession.

I often find myself questioning my relationship with Jesus because I don't have a good relationship with His Church and I have trouble getting my prayers answered. I often wonder if I'm doing something wrong, or sinful that caused this. Yet on the other hand I feel like maybe I am just common place clay. In other words I am not created for greatness. To make things worse, Christian people on the internet, often don't tell me the things I need to hear to feel better about my walk with Jesus. Instead they seem to think that they need to correct me in some way. The advice they give doesn't seem to work.

You got to understand, I wonder about sinning, because it is not my intention to sin against Jesus. I want to be in fellowship with other believers. But life circumstances have prevented it. The only way I could get back to Church is to forcefully make myself to try to do it. I have a learning disability that causes my difficulties, with driving. I have a job the makes me overly tired all the time. These two things together plus the way my parents have gotten, has made this a very very difficult thing to do. And to top it all off, when I have been in Church, and I was for my entire life up to 2020, nobody seemed to care about me or my family anyways. Due to the lack of fellowship, there, my parents even decided not to go back. That is saying something considering how many years they were going to Church, and my dad was even a minister for a time.

 

[Rowan]

Sounds like you may have lost your "Joy". The world will to that to us if we let it. I would seek the Lord in this case.

Joy is a fortress for the Christian in a fallen world. Nehemiah said to his people who were in tears, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10

We may think he should have said, “The strength of the Lord is your joy.” No! Nehemiah understood. The great joy of the Lord is a powerful fortress.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

Sounds like you may have lost your "Joy". The world will to that to us if we let it. I would seek the Lord in this case.

Joy is a fortress for the Christian in a fallen world. Nehemiah said to his people who were in tears, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10

We may think he should have said, “The strength of the Lord is your joy.” No! Nehemiah understood. The great joy of the Lord is a powerful fortress.

Honestly I am not sure I ever had that joy. I got saved at the age of six, and life got pretty crappy pretty quickly after that. I spent all my school years just trying to keep my head above water. That is kinda how my life is now too.

 

[Adherent]

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

I don't understand why things seem to be so complicated. I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. I did that multiple times. Even if you don't want to count the time I did at the age of 6. I did it at the age of 19 with my youth pastor. Later I got water baptized. I spend time in the Bible to grow closer to God. When I was going to Church I went for the same reason. How come do I feel like this? I'm not sure I ever had the joy of the lord. I spent all my life just trying to keep my head above water. I just do what I can, but I know Jesus needs to do what He does. If my heart needs changed, isn't that His job? If I'm preventing him, then how am I preventing him? I try not to live in sin. (((shruggs))) I don't get it. I honestly don't understand what is wrong with me.

 

[John Evens]

Have you ever had a psychiatric evaluation for depression?

Depression & Partial Response​

Here's some information on “major depressive disorder” (or “MDD”) and Partial Response you may find useful.

​

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

Have you ever had a psychiatric evaluation for depression?

Depression & Partial Response​

Here's some information on “major depressive disorder” (or “MDD”) and Partial Response you may find useful.

​

First an update. My friend's sister got married. I knew about this already. However since I'm not on facebook, I didn't know that the picture was from her sisters wedding. I asked someone at work, and they told me. So anyways, what I thought I saw wasn't what I thought it was.

Today my blood pressure was 174/91. My blood pressure tends to go up when I'm frustrated and upset. Lately I've been upset with where my life is going. I've also been frustrated with my relationship with God, and I think all of this together has effected my blood pressure.

Hi John, My doctor has offered me anti depressants. I am aware that I have depression.

 

[Quintus5]

Your blood pressure is high. I hope you are getting that checked and have meds for it. The last thing you need is a stroke.

 

[AlwaysOnAJourney]

Your blood pressure is high. I hope you are getting that checked and have meds for it. The last thing you need is a stroke.

Firstly I want to say this. Please pray for me and this other person. They are doing their thing, and I've been doing mine. I've been trying to emotionally disconnect from them. It's been taking months to get this to happen, but I feel that it is happening little by little. I am also trying to emotionally disconnect from other people at work. Because those people don't want to talk to me and I don't want to risk getting into trouble with people who won't be friendly to me.

As far as my blood pressure is concerned, I was just at the doctor for a check up, and it seems to be under control now.

 

[dwight92070]

I would guess that the reason that other Christians may not want to talk with you is because you seem to be obsessed with yourself. I'm not trying to be mean to you. I'm just telling you what I am observing from your posts.

It appears that the only way that you will let other people into your self-centered world, is if they too, start to become overly involved with your "problems". If they do that, then you see them as friendly. If they don't become overly involved with your "problems", then you see them as unfriendly and you reject them, or as you put it, you try to "emotionally disconnect" from them.
You're like a vacuum, wanting to suck others into your "one person world". When others sense that, they want to get away because for them to "show compassion" and "friendliness" to you, they must come to you ON YOUR TERMS. What are your terms? To join you in your excessive focus on yourself and your problems. This is extremely emotionally draining for other people, so they stay away from you.

Whether you like it or not, you are your own "God". Christians are supposed to focus on Jesus, and His word, and OTHER Christians and the poor and needy of this world. In other words, put your "problems and self - analysis" on the shelf and pray for OTHER PEOPLE and ask God to give you love and compassion FOR THEM.

Paul said to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ". 1 Corinthians 10:5 Instead of always thinking about yourself and your "problems", ask God to forgive you and start praying for other people individually. I don't mean to walk up to them and pray for them. I mean, in your alone time, when you're by yourself, pray for each person that comes to your mind, whether they are a Christian or not, whether they are famous or not, whether you know them or not.

Ask God to bless them with godly wisdom, good health, and that He would draw them to Himself through Jesus. Ask God to save them and to spiritually give them growth and maturity. Yes, while you're doing this, you can ask God to bless YOU too and to do those things for YOU as well. It's NOT being self-centered to talk to God about yourself, because you're talking or praying to the ONLY ONE who can bring you emotional and spiritual health. Instead of talking to other people about your problems, talk to HIM about your problems. He ALWAYS has time to listen. Not only that, He answers your prayers - and mine.

Don't ever accuse God of not answering your prayers, because He always answers sincere, humble prayers. But He answers them IN HIS TIME, not your time. God promised Abraham that He would make him a "great nation". Genesis 12:2 Abraham was 75 years old at the time. About 10 years later, when Abraham was 85, God reiterated that promise and told him that his descendants would be so innumerable that they would be like the stars in the heavens - too many to even count. Genesis 15:5

Abraham did become impatient for God to fulfill His promise and foolishly tried to "help God out" by having a child through his wife's maid, Hagar. He was 86 when Hagar gave birth to Ishmael - 11 years after God first gave His promise to Abraham.

But God never forgot His promise and 13 years after that, when Abraham was 99 years old, He told Abraham that Sarah would bear him a son the following year, when Abraham would be 100 years old! So Abraham WAITED 25 years for God to fulfill His promise!

Keep praying for others and yourself - tell him your problems, not others. Then leave the answer in His hands and don't even worry about the answer - only God knows how and when to answer your prayers. Trust Him - as Abraham did. God may lead you, occasionally, to talk to another mature Christian, about one of your problems. But, as a rule, take it to God first.

What about medication for depression? Well, I would recommend that you try the above counsel first - if you do that, and continue to do that, I believe you can break the hold that depression has on you. If you absolutely cannot do that, for whatever reason, you actually may need medicine. Sometimes there could be a physical malady that keeps you from being able to do the above.

If you do need medicine, don't feel guilty, God is not condemning you. But if you end up taking medication, I would still recommend doing what I said - praying for others and for yourself - daily. God is able to do miracles - He may just wean you off of medication. But if not, no problem, just keep trusting Him and praying for others and yourself. He loves you. He wants to give you answers to your prayers.

Yes, I do follow my own advice. I haven't been prone to depression, but at times my mind races, and I can't seem to stop it - sometimes it keeps me from getting the sleep I need - UNTIL I start to pray for others and myself. When I do that, God calms me and shuts down the racing thoughts and gives me peace - I often fall asleep in my bed - praying. I LOVE TO DO THAT! And in the meantime, God is answering my prayers. I changed my racing thoughts into racing prayers, and eventually calm and peaceful prayers. Thank you Lord Jesus!

 

[DavidTree]

I don't understand why things seem to be so complicated. I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. I did that multiple times. Even if you don't want to count the time I did at the age of 6. I did it at the age of 19 with my youth pastor. Later I got water baptized. I spend time in the Bible to grow closer to God. When I was going to Church I went for the same reason. How come do I feel like this? I'm not sure I ever had the joy of the lord. I spent all my life just trying to keep my head above water. I just do what I can, but I know Jesus needs to do what He does. If my heart needs changed, isn't that His job? If I'm preventing him, then how am I preventing him? I try not to live in sin. (((shruggs))) I don't get it. I honestly don't understand what is wrong with me.

Right now you are under oppression and it is super beneficial for you to seek fellowship with other believers in Christ

Not everyone has a 'good life' AND the children of this world have a much better life then the "children of the LIGHT"

When the children of this world dies, their 'good life' comes to a disastrous end = eternal darkness.

When the children of LIGHT die, we are taken to SEE Him who called us out of darkness and into His Glory

Blessed are the meek for they will see GOD

And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him.
Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit theearth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Many christians throughout the world are not experiencing a 'good life' but they are experiencing Salvation and Peace and Joy

the Apostle Paul struggled as did many who walked with JESUS, which is why we need to be in fellowship

 

[DavidTree]

Firstly I want to say this. Please pray for me and this other person. They are doing their thing, and I've been doing mine. I've been trying to emotionally disconnect from them. It's been taking months to get this to happen, but I feel that it is happening little by little. I am also trying to emotionally disconnect from other people at work. Because those people don't want to talk to me and I don't want to risk getting into trouble with people who won't be friendly to me.

As far as my blood pressure is concerned, I was just at the doctor for a check up, and it seems to be under control now.

Were you in a physical(sexual) relationship with the other person who got married?