Thats part of it. You ever heard of TULIP ? Those are Gospel Truths, do you know what TULIP means ? The acronym
I know everything about TULIPs, I am a Dutch!
Kidding aside, I grew up in a Calvinistic [TULIP] country, raised in fear for hell. It's when I came to Christ and started to read the Scriptures myself I was amazed, it said something different than I was told. For instance the well known John 3:16. And I believed it, eternal life [!]
And I told my lovely grandmother, I have eternal life!, but she said you can not say that, nobody knows, depends, saying something like in : Dan 5:27 -
you have been weighed in the balances and found wanting;
And I spoke my father in law who was an elder in the Reformed church and told him the same, Jesus promised me eternal life and I got the same denial. They only hope, sort of 50-50 case, and lived in fear.
Election and predestination my friend are based on the foreknowledge of God, not on some unknown formula of God nobody knows. God knows if your name is in the Book of Life before you were born, you only have to live it as a true testimony, not everything in the Bible is about our salvation.
John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Just believe and praise God for Jesus.