AlwaysOnAJourney
Active member
I've been a believer in Jesus and the Bible my whole life. That is 45-6=39 years. Granted that my salvation maybe be just head knowledge.
Over these 39 years I have done the best I can to live out a Christian life. But there are somethings about my Christian life that deeply trouble me. I observe other Christian people who have Churches they fit into. I see other Christian people doing things for God. I see me and my parents, rejected by other Christian people. In fact it is so bad that we don't go to Church since those people behave as if we don't exist. In other words there is no fellowship possible between our personalities and their personalities.
For reasons I do not know. The personality clash has seemed to get worse, even though I don't think our personalities have changed.
My parents used to have Church friends. Currently my Dad has no Church friends, and my Mom sorta does. But I want to talk about my own problems here.
When my parents were young, some people liked them. But when I was young, some people only sorta liked me and it got worse. Now days it is so bad that I struggle to even get a short email from someone, or even a hello at work! I got pause here, and tell you something funny. I'm on a mental health site, that has people that will listen to your problems for free. It's pretty cool that they do that. Anyways, often times I will tell them about my problems with people, and they will actually ask me if I got a Girlfriend or a Wife? I'm like what??? I just told you nobody likes me, and you ask me that? LOL Anyways the answer to that question is no. Going back to talking about what I was saying earlier. I never can figure out what is it about me that makes people treat me the way they do.
In this fallen world, some people are born with lots of different kinds of issues. Apparently I was born with a learning disability, and it might be the thing that effects my personality in a way that drives others away. You know what is really bad about this? I can't have fellowship in Church. And that seems to violate a scripture command.
Some years ago, I was trying to fix myself. I was seeking answers and talking about this as much as possible. A person in my life said this to me. "G, there is nothing wrong with you. But people don't like you because they don't like you. It is just the way it is." I didn't want to accept what that person said to me, but now nearly 15 years later, I think I see what He was saying. It looks to me like God chose to allow me to have this problem. He might of even made me this way on purpose. I just hope that He didn't also make me for Hell too. Allowing something that violates his own commandment in the Bible seems indicate to me, that He could of also do the other too.
Hebrews 10
19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Over these 39 years I have done the best I can to live out a Christian life. But there are somethings about my Christian life that deeply trouble me. I observe other Christian people who have Churches they fit into. I see other Christian people doing things for God. I see me and my parents, rejected by other Christian people. In fact it is so bad that we don't go to Church since those people behave as if we don't exist. In other words there is no fellowship possible between our personalities and their personalities.
For reasons I do not know. The personality clash has seemed to get worse, even though I don't think our personalities have changed.
My parents used to have Church friends. Currently my Dad has no Church friends, and my Mom sorta does. But I want to talk about my own problems here.
When my parents were young, some people liked them. But when I was young, some people only sorta liked me and it got worse. Now days it is so bad that I struggle to even get a short email from someone, or even a hello at work! I got pause here, and tell you something funny. I'm on a mental health site, that has people that will listen to your problems for free. It's pretty cool that they do that. Anyways, often times I will tell them about my problems with people, and they will actually ask me if I got a Girlfriend or a Wife? I'm like what??? I just told you nobody likes me, and you ask me that? LOL Anyways the answer to that question is no. Going back to talking about what I was saying earlier. I never can figure out what is it about me that makes people treat me the way they do.
In this fallen world, some people are born with lots of different kinds of issues. Apparently I was born with a learning disability, and it might be the thing that effects my personality in a way that drives others away. You know what is really bad about this? I can't have fellowship in Church. And that seems to violate a scripture command.
Some years ago, I was trying to fix myself. I was seeking answers and talking about this as much as possible. A person in my life said this to me. "G, there is nothing wrong with you. But people don't like you because they don't like you. It is just the way it is." I didn't want to accept what that person said to me, but now nearly 15 years later, I think I see what He was saying. It looks to me like God chose to allow me to have this problem. He might of even made me this way on purpose. I just hope that He didn't also make me for Hell too. Allowing something that violates his own commandment in the Bible seems indicate to me, that He could of also do the other too.
Hebrews 10
19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
